Saturday, December 29, 2012

This year 2012.

Its only been two weeks that I have missed here on my blog.  I had thought it was quite a few more than that.  I was relieved to know it, yet I missed writing just the same.
This time of year always brings out the most reflection in me.  Looking back on what the year brought us, what the new year holds for us.  Before, it was what I did wrong that I would fix in the coming year.  Now, its what I would like to do better. 
I have, this year especially, realized that there have been a few things I took up in my youth, that I miss now in my older years.  Archery is one.  Playing the guitar is another.  I never thought in a million years I would say that I should've never stopped running.  I hated running.  But this year, I found it again, and it was a very good stress release for  me.
Maybe, I'll take up archery again, and buy a second-hand guitar to play around with.  Its a new year, anything is possible.
I just realized that The Nae will be 6 years old in sixty-two days.  Man, time flies.  This brings new adventures for our Girl, and because they are new to her, they will be new for us as well. 
She learns how to care, be safe around and ride a horse this year.  My luck, she will LOVE it and I will work for nothing but Riding Lessons for the next ten years.  You know what?  I'm just fine with that. 
This year she will learn to shoot a BB gun.  She will be safe around guns, not be afraid of them, respect Life enough to understand that they are a privilege to have in our homes.  If I have learned anything from the sad new of CT, its that my daughter needs to understand that guns are not the issue, the lack of respect for Life is.
I have a laundry list of things I will work at this year.  I think I'll keep most of those off the blog.
However, what I will continue to do, is live a Life of Gratitude.  I will continue to post every week on Thursday about those things.  I will never stray from what has opened my eyes to Gratitude.  That is Naenah and Travis.  I have them, I can take a minute to see the beauty of Gratitude.  I owe them, and myself at the very least that.
Bright Blessings!
See you in the New Year!!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Thankful Thursday.....A Laugh and awesome support.

I let myself be defeated this week.  I let Anger, Frustration and some one's Ill-intent get to me.  I let it get to what is usually a very solid foundation of Positive thought and energy.
I posted on FB in frustration.
And got support from the most awesome community ever!! My FB family ROCKS.  They lifted me up, gave me awesome advice, and Bro Duane had me laughing so stinking hard that I forgot about my silly dilemma.
They did it. I am Grateful.
Never underestimate the power of community, physical or cyber.
Other Thankful News:
MOM and DAD are in KANSAS for the holiday!!  Yay!!
Hayley takes time for me even in her busy state of running her business.
Trav LOVES my new hair cut!!
Hollie thinks of my sweet girl and gives her the most awesome hand me downs EVER.
I got to hear Rita's voice this week.
Charlie and Kenn got a house!!!!
Shauna squealed with excitement when I told her that Charlie was expecting!!
These are just a about you?
 I hope you  have a wonderful weekend!!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Thankful Thursday....I MADE IT!!!!

  I made it to Thursday!!  Goddess provided!!  Man, have me and mine have seen quite a few obstacles since Thanksgiving only one short week ago.  I'm proud to say that even though the stick kept putting on a whooping, I never gave up.  I never let the situation discourage me.  I must be learning!! 
  Should that excite me so much?  When you have seen some rough times as this poor wee little family has, YES, it should excite me.
   Are we turning a corner into a better time in our Life?  Sure, that's one way to look at it.  I would like to see it as the fact that we are learning how to handle the curves.  You see, Life will never, ever be without curves.  There will always be struggles, I'm starting to understand that its how you function in those struggles that defines who you are.  Will you let it knock you down?  Will you take the punches, look around to see who is there you can rally to help you and get it done?  Will you let your heart grow negative with self loathing thoughts?  Will you take the lessons handed to you and file them for the next bump and know that you have learned, at the very least, one part of what you need to move forward?
  This Thursday only holds that much more to be Grateful for.  When we practice Gratitude, it abounds in our Lives.  That simple.  Try it.  What do you have to lose?
  All things good:
  This week there were so many who helped us through our many obstacles.  It may have seemed like not that big of a deal to those folks, but Oh My,  did it help to have them in our Corner.  Hayley, Shayla, Rita, Digran, the guys at the Co op.  Jessica and Alyssa at Carmax.  The listening ears of Charlie, Amelia Delene, and my Gran.  Being able to bounce ideas off my Dad. An FB community that always has my back.  Dude, we are Loved.  I am Grateful.
  I wake every morning with a Grateful heart.  I will continue to do that the rest of my Life.  If I give nothing else back to the Universe, will try at the very least do that.  I will try.
Love, Light, and the Brightest of Blessings!!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving, the biggest day for Gratitude.

Thanksgiving is the one day of the year that all my Thankful Thursday post are about.  This Thanksgiving was off to a pretty rough start, then it took another turn and got even bumpier (is that a word?), I started to worry, really worry.  Then, I found that place in my mind where the stillness helps me see the situation calm enough to see the Gratitude.
I realized it was a rough patch for me and my little family, but what was awesome is I never really let it ruin things.
So, with out completely boring you with details, I will tell you the most immediate things I'm super grateful for on this very day of Thanksgiving:

That Hubby got to come home and sleep in his own bed, even though he is on his week rotation of 24/7s. That the work held off so that he could enjoy our yearly tradition of cinnamon rolls and ham steak and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.  That he got to sit and have our meal together with us.That some of his co-workers rallied around him and his partner and were willing to take a shift so that these boys could get some much needed rest.
Thank you John for looking out for Trav.  Thank you Sara for steping in to provide relief.  Thank you Ben for being on stand-by.

That I, as well as Trav, could be here to provide relief for a pukey kid at 6 this morning.  That puked again, and again and again.
That she finally stopped puking.  That she smiled through dinner and chatted it up even though she wasn't all that hungry.
That her spirit never even darkens when she is feeling pretty dang gum bad.

That my sisters and all my Fam are keeping my Homesickness at bay by Skyping, calling and texting all through out the day.

That my FB family is so supportive and loving.

That friends that I have made here in our little town will come to aid if we need anything at all.

I just THANKFUL.  Just so damn Thankful. 

Tearfully Grateful,

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Thankful Thursday...Heart Strings.

Do you ever get that feeling of a dawning of an idea?  One that has finally come full circle and you are just now getting all the signs to realize it?  I had a moment like that today, so early in the day.  I knew it had to be what I wrote about for Thankful Thursday.

Back story: When Trav and I were pregnant with Naenah.  We tried to think of things to do that would give us a good strong bond with her, even In utero.  As soon as we knew her sex, we started calling her by her name.  Kick counts were family play time, Gimli (our pup at the time) and Trav would play, wrestle, and bark.  Naenah would kick around in my belly in time to their playing. Trav would take time to talk to her, she would swoosh around to the sound of her voice.
A family friend's mom does hypno-therapy.  In her hand of therapies, she had Hypno-Birthing.  I had done the research and Trav and I together decided that it would be a better route for us rather than Lamaze.
So, with open minds, with went to our first session. One of the very first exercises is  attaching Heart Strings to one another, and the baby.  It was the closest thing to physical magic I had ever experienced.  I could feel a tie between my husband and I.  Then attaching the stings of our hearts to Naenah, I could literally feel the tug on the "String". To let us know she was participating, she did a little dip and swoosh in there.  Amazing.
It brought us so much closer, even before she made her physical appearance in the world.  It gave Trav and I that much more of a solid bond with each other AND with her.

The Strings are constantly being tugged on.  Almost like an embedded mechanism to "check" our connectivity with one another.
Our morning ritual of saying good-bye before school brought those Heart Strings back into check this morning.  We hug and kiss good-bye(thank the Goddess she still lets me have those and is not embarrassed yet), then she takes off on her little walk to the playground, stops half way through, turns around and blows me a kiss as I blow her one.  We both catch them, PUT THEM TO OUR HEARTS, then put the kiss in our pockets.  This is not a thing I have taught my girl, as a matter of fact, SHE showed me how to catch the kiss and put it in my pocket.
An act of Heart Strings.  We have never talked about that bond with her, but here we are.....She Just Knows.

My heart and heart stings, swell with  Gratitude.  Some things you just don't have to say in words, she just knows.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Days of Thanks...Catching up

Hello!!!  November has started out with a BANG!!  I have been BUSY since the 22nd of October and knew I was going to have little time to start my Days of Thanks.  So, here is a catch up on the days I have missed.  I so bet you thought I wouldn't take the time out this year, WRONG!!!!
I will never pass  up a chance to to Thankful and Grateful.

Day 1 of Thanks. The place in which we live.  Little to you, a mansion to us. It holds all I love dear. Five healthy heart beats, and very happy at that.

Day 2 of Thanks. That I have the ability to Help. I may not have all the funds in the world, but my back is strong and if I can help, I will.

Day 3 of Thanks. That I know how to appreciate simple things. Just a few moments for our toes to touch the sand and ocean and I can feel her rejuvenation flow through me.

Day 4 of Thanks.  That I may never forget that help is never far from reach, that I may never be so big headed I don't ask for it.

Day 5 of Thanks.  That I got to sit and listen to my Mom, Dad, Sisters and Brothers-out laws at the breakfast table. Something so simple, yet when you live far away it means SO much more.

Day 6 of Thanks. Kenneth King. I'm thankful he took such great care of my wee little one and I in absence of Trav on our trip to SD.

How about you??  Why don't you start one of these list, come on.  Just until Thanksgiving.  I guarantee you will appreciate the thought that goes into it.
Love, Light, and Bright Blessings!!!!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Thankful Thursday..the feet given to me

So I have been trying to make an extra effort to give myself some exercise since Naenah is in school now.  I started in August.  Walking.  Three Miles at least three days a week.  Three weeks ago, I started running.  Yup.  Running.  Well, I hope it looks like running.  I call it an educated stumble.
This week I've finally made it to running thirty-five minutes straight!  YAY!!  Go ME!!!  Seriously, this was a thing I do before.  I ran a 5K circuit with my sister the fall/spring after Nae was born in 2007/2008.  Got burnt out and never really went back to running, until now.
I'm only running two days a week, its walking for this girl the rest of it.  So today, I'm Thankful for my feet.  I pound on them so much, to run, to massage, to walk, to clean.  And they just keep holding up.
In other Thankful News....
Charlie and Kenn will be here on Saturday!!!! 
I got to chat with my girl Stephanie Cooley this week, I love her and miss your so much.  I'm so glad she calls me and allows to call her back when I can.
Chatted with Rita this week, giggled and traded ideas and plans for our meet up in San Diego and their turn out here with us!!
Naenah is knocking it out of the park at school, she loves it and I love her.
Trav and I have shared so much to giggle about this week.  I need that.  Just when I think mood is gonna turn, he gives me a mean case of the giggles.  I love him.

How about you?  Leave me your things your Thankful for.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Lessons Learned, Gratitude & Crazy weeks at school

Happy Thankful Thursday!!!
There has been so much going on this week.  Naenah had her first field trip, and of all places it was to the pumpkin patch!  I had the awesome pleasure of being able to attend as a parent group leader.  Nae and I were grouped up with two other little girls that made the day fun and eventful.  We rode a trailer pulled by tractors out to the pumpkin fields, picked pumpkins, got lost in a corn maze, had a picnic sack lunch.  All three girls napped on the bus ride home.  I was present in the moment during the course of the day.  On the ride home, reflection was pretty funny.  I had a blast!!  Exhausted, but it was fun.
Today, Nae rides a firetruck all over town for Fire Safety Week. Tomorrow is a half day at school, home early.
So much has been going on this week that you would think that I would have no time to reflect.  Its just the opposite.  All this stuff happening and I'm struck with Gratitude.  Making me understand just how wonderful it is that I get to be here to do all this stuff with her.  To take pictures of her new experiences.
Her Daddy is a true hero.  We made this move to improve her quality of Life.  He works long hours so that I can be there to send him pictures of all the fun stuff. Yet again another thing to be Grateful for.
I finally got to sit down and connect with my business partner, Hayley.  Both of us so busy the last few weeks that our orbits are just now coming back to one another.  Lunch was good, so glad I had the chance to sit and see her for a bit.
Cut my finger last Saturday.  I've taken the week to let it heal.  Now, my week next week is full!
Lesson learned this week:  I love my Life.  All of it.  The ups and the downs.  Why?  Because its mine.  I got to pick and choose every heartache, happy thought, frustration and gleeful moment.  Its no lie, Life really is what we make of it.
So, go on.  Make Life.  Then, if you have a minute, let me know about it.
Love, Light and Bright Blessings

Saturday, September 29, 2012


Life.  A series of changes.

Are you ready for those changes?  Do you have the mental and physical capacity to let things go?

Its with time, hardship, tears, and understanding that I sit at this point in my Life.

Do I have the correct people around me to lift me up?  Do I have the support to get through the obstacles that the changes in Life present to me?

I'm thirty-six years old this year. I have learned that the one thing constant in Life is change.  I feel pretty lucky to understand this so young.  Some go all their lives and only find out in the end when there is such limited time to try and fix their point of view.

We try not to take anything for granted.  Nothing.

With that said, its still hard to embrace changes.  I find that is it the most difficult to love yourself through the changes.  I'm constantly judging myself.  Thinking I should have done that a different way, handled it more gently.

That stuff is easier to do when you have people around you that love and support you.  If  you don't have these two things, love for yourself and support.  Get them.  Work to have them.  Make them your first gifts to yourself.

I promise they will  help.

That is my clarity, bright and early this Saturday morning.

Happy Saturday.

Blessed Be.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Always Learning

  When was the last time you stood up for yourself?  Did you have a really hard time doing it?  Feeling that you were gonna make someone upset, disappointed, mad.  But, you knew, just knew that if you didn't make your stand you would regret it.  Yeah, I have had to do that at least once in the last two weeks.  I have lost sleep, talked myself in and out and in to it again.  Driven those around me crazy because I talk about it incessantly until I actually go through with it.
  But guess what...I do it.
  Too many times in my Life I  have followed orders, obeyed.  Done the right thing according to what others have wanted.  Not this time.
  What drives me?  What is so different about my Life now?

   Travis and Naenah.

  Seriously, that is it.  If anything takes away from my time as a Mom and Wife, it better be a pretty damn good reason.  If I feel like its not doing those two any justice, I'm not doing it.
   My business is ran this way.  Yup, you read it right.  I LOVE being a Massage Therapist.  BUT, my family comes first.  If you can understand that, then I will make every effort in my being to make sure that your therapy session holds all the benefits and more.
  How now does this go along with a Life of Gratitude?  Each thing holds a reason, to learn, to observe, to practice Gratitude.  I'm only human, and I do indeed have a temper and an attitude.  But I will never be beyond Gratitude.
   Standing up for myself teaches me so much.
   I learned this time through that I'm worth my time, and if others can't understand that, then I'm not the person for the job.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Thankful Thursday...Shayla Deppershimdt

As a Military Brat, its not a common thing to rely on others.  Your family unit gets most of the lean, then if they can't help, you suck it up and try to figure out how to shoulder the rest.
Growing a family around family makes a girl spoiled.  Probably one of the single things that has made me worry about moving to a place where there is no family is how we will get by and do it on our own.
That's where Shayla comes in.  Hayley too, but she'll get her own blog next week. :)
She has been one of the awesome, trustworthy people I have been able to lean on since her move here, next door at that.  So easy going, which is so healthy and welcomed changed to me being high strung most often.  She's a Mom to Kaylee (3) and Layton (1), a wife to Mark and Mommy to their fur baby Geesy (half pit, half Saint Bernard!!)
Always open to giving advice, and listening.  Most of all, taking my kiddo when Trav and I's schedules are not meeting up.
Shayla is my Thankful Thursday Blessing this week. I'm so lucky to have her as a neighbor and friend.  From bouncing budgeting ideas to creative craft ideas, she's a pretty open minded gal.  I am Blessed to have her in my life.  Thank You Shayla!!

In other thankful news...
Mom and Dad made it safely to the Philippines for a month long visit!  So awesome that they get the chance to soak up all that wonderful love from the Familia there.
Rita called to make me giggle in the middle of the week.
Naenah lost another tooth!!  Glitter money is in high demand around here!!
I have been wrangled into yard duty at the school in the mornings, its hilarious to watch all the young minds at play!!

I hope that this inspires you to look around and find the things that you are thankful for.

Bright Blessings!!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Thankful Thursday...

 This week was the first full week of school. We started last Thursday, but this week was really the test. So, I thought that I would post these pictures in celebration of our first full week.
As well as photos of the things I'm thankful for...

 How can I even look at this one and not be thankful to be her Momma?
 My Life is measured by the smiles and giggles from these two.  The sounds makes my heart swell, with Happiness, but the Gratitude is always the underlying emotion.
I'm beyond Lucky, and I will continue to try and live everyday as Grateful as possible.

Other things I'm Grateful for this week:

My FB family.  When I need to be up lifted, they were there.  A candle to light the dark.

I got to talk to much of my family this week, that I needed too.

I'm Thankful for Massage Therapy, through it, I can help.  

How about you?  What do you have to be Thankful for this Thursday?  

Go ahead, I dare you, post it in the comments.  


Monday, August 13, 2012

The end of her days of no school responsibility....

This last weekend was the very last weekend that Naenah, Travis and I will ever have with school-less responsibility.  It didn't even dawn on me really until yesterday morning.  Trav and Nae went outside while he was grilling to give me a few minutes of quiet myself.  I was gonna sit inside with my Nook, but realized that this was her last weekend before school.
I went outside to sit and be near my family pod.  I found Him pulling her around in her red wagon, all over the yard.  I think he realized it too.  I made mention to him of my thoughts and he nodded his head in approval, sadness in his eyes.  I sat and just listened to the sounds of their giggling.
As Naenah ages, I see why so many family have more than one child.  To give them siblings, to teach them about positions in the family, to fill a home.  I think the one that stands out the most at the moment is to keep this pending sadness at bay.  This is the stuff that is rough on a parent.  As the time nears for her first day of school, I find myself getting more and more emotional.
I always thought that growing up and becoming responsible sucked as a kid.  This?  This is worse!!!  LOL
I know that we will all move forward, that everything we deal with is part of her Life's path, as well as ours.  Its the end of an era in our household, one my family and Trav's have marked with Joy.  Again, I'm so grateful to be a part of her Life.  To have a hand in what sort of a person she will stand up and be.  Its no little feat, nor is it something to take so seriously we forget to teach her to be Happy.
She is beyond excited, I will do all I can to keep her in that mind frame.

I am Blessed.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Thankful Thursday...

Have you ever been in a situation where you didn't agree with the way someone was treating you?  What did you do?  Did you just lay down and let them do it?  Did you stand up for yourself and give it your all to fight back?
I have been guilty of both.  I have let one too many people take advantage of my good nature, letting them do and say whatever they please, and I took it.  I have also on some occasions fought back, both physically and verbally.  I can really, seriously think of a few accounts of both.
The reason I say guilty, is that in this last situation, I stood up for myself.  Twice.  Now, in its the aftermath, I am being shunned.  I'm the one being ignored.  By the very person who attacked me.  That person came at me verbally.  I assume they thought I should just sit there and listen, not say a word.  Just take in what ill-mannered things they said about me as a person.  But, in my true spirit, I didn't.  I fought back.  I argued.  I made my point clear.
Life is a matter of perspective, I understand that.  What is really killing me in all this is, in order to live your Life as a decent human being, you have to be able to get off your High Horse and see the way others see things.
I can't win.  I'm done trying.  It is what it is.
Its a good lesson for me in retrospect.  What really in this can I be grateful for?
Well, not a day goes by that I'm not grateful for something.  I've learned enough in Life to know that.  This situation is no different.
I'm grateful for my support team.  My hubby most of all.  I get the strength and confidence to be who I really should because he loves me regardless.
I'm grateful that I stood up for myself, even if it takes away the one person who should be looking out for me and mine in a new and challenging home.
Right or wrong doesn't seem to matter so much to me any more.  Its the principle of the situation, the human aspect.  Being humble enough to just lay it all out and say that you were human.
I would be able to say it, I'm grateful I haven't lost sight of that.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Thankful Thursdays...A minute to reflect.

For those of you who actually take the time out to follow me here on this little blog, I have been out of my mind busy with my new business venture!!  It has been at the very least, six weeks since I have had any free time to sit and write.  
Hayley (my awesome business partner) and I couldn't really take an other day.  We have been pounded with  at least 12 days of 100 degree temperatures, with the promise of another 10 days of it to come.  Between the heat, juggling our kids, working long days at the shop getting it ready to open...We Were Exhausted.
Tuesday I stood up from bed, just in time to spend a few minutes (still half sleeping) with hubby before he went off to work.  I think I drank my coffee sitting up asleep, I don't remember half of the cup!!
Naenah and I struggled through her schoolwork for forty-five minutes, then I needed a nap.  So, I text Hayley, asked her what she was doing.  
Me:  What are you up to?
H: Nothing, on the couch.  Sleeping.
Me: Good, stay there.  I'm gonna take a nap!!
I crawled up into my hubby's wonderful recliner and tuned in to the second season of Downton Abbey.  I didn't move much all day.  Nae didn't either.
Suffice to say, I think we needed to take a day off.  It felt good.
The day gave me some time to step back and think about what needed to be done at the Salon.  Its Hayley's salon, I call it the Shop.  Clear my head, get my barrings back.
I have had so many things to do, I haven't had a chance to just sit and let my mind wander.  
I got that time this morning.  Thinking of all the things that have happened, are happening, are going to happen.  Immediately I start to feel Grateful.  Its floods my heart.
I lost a great uncle a week ago.  He is an amazing man, and I so Grateful to have heard his wonderful laugh one last time.
My Aunt's birthday was yesterday, Nae made her smile with A recorded birthday song.
My dad's birthday is tomorrow, posted a day early on FB, so all the world knows!  
My daughter starts school in 21 days.  A kindergartner.  She was just born, or so I thought.  Now, its five years in the making.
I got to chat with my dad, all three sisters, my mom and Grin this week.
I have amazing support from my new community here.
I'm just Thankful.  I truly am.  My life is no where near perfection, and I like it just the same, even better than.
Travis and Naenah make it all worth while.

Your turn.  If your reading this, leave me a note.  Tell me one thing your Grateful for this week.

Bright Blessings!!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Impending visit from the Tooth Fairy...

It's happened.  I have always prided myself in the firm grasp of the knowledge that Naenah is growing up, that there is no potion, spell, or amount of money that I can pay to stop time.  But, today, I got hit with it.  A simple act has made me stand still and reel from the dizzying reality that I thought I was constantly prepared for.
She came to us in a panicked/excited/terrified frenzy, just after her short trip to the bathroom mirror to confirm that her bottom front tooth was loose.
"Its loose, its loose!!  See it?! See it?!" she said as she ran back and forth between her Daddy and I.
We both smiled excitedly and took turns looking with her wiggling that poor little tooth. Just after about five minutes of excitement, panic set in.  She was in tears, sitting on the couch trying to stay calm crying to herself.  I looked up to see pouty lips and a sob she was trying to hide.
"Baby, what's the matter?"  I asked her.
"Momma, is it gonna hurt?  Me losing this tooth?  It is gonna bleed really bad and hurt?"  Now the tears had overflowed down her sweet worried face.  It was all Trav and I could do to stay where we were and not jump up to be by her side.
"Oh honey, it won't hurt that much at all.  It will feel weird to be missing a tooth, but by the time its ready I don't think it will hurt that much at all."  I told her, on my knees mentally, praying that I was convincing enough for her to buy it.
"okay."  She sighed, wiped her tears and went into the bathroom for another Look-see before going to her room.

I love her so much.  I'm so Grateful that I get to be a part of her Life.  Negotiations are currently under way for the highest rate possible with the Tooth Fairy.  We have put in a request for all the bells and whistles, after all, it is her first tooth.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Stop the insanity with Gratitude

  I have witnessed Negative thought ruin lives.  Some will tell you this theory that myself and many others hold is "hogwash".  I have seen it make people ill.  I have seen it make the loved ones of the one so negative ill.  I have been the one to make people I love ill and ill-mannered because of my negativity.
  If you have been following this blog at all, you know the stories I have told to Enlightenment.  If you haven't been following, look them up, it will make more sense once you do.  I have just had an incident with one in such a negative spot.  I have witnessed, on several occasions this soul grow ill.  As well as the Lighted Souls around it.  The negative is never let go, its buried deep within, harbored, kept for fuel.  It grows, festers, and spreads. To others.
  How can anyone bring Happiness and Gratitude to others if its not within in them to give?


Fix your shit!!!!!!!   Fix it.  Before its too late.  Before you hand a death wish to anyone around you that you hold so precious and love so much.  FIX IT.

 Its NEVER too late to back pedal and call yourself out on it.  Never.  Eat the Humble Pie, admit that you are broken.  The minute you do, you will begin to heal.  When you begin to heal, you let the good, the positive, the Love, the Gratitude through.

Everyday after that, it gets easier to Live in Gratitude.  I'm not saying that it won't be a struggle, that you won't have to hang on for dear Life.  What I'm saying is that it will all be worth it.

Step back, take a look.  How many negative thoughts do you have in one day?  Too many to count?  How many times a day do you lose you Lid over petty little things??  If its way more than once a day, chances are you are taking a lot of your Life for granted.  Wasting it on things that won't matter in the end.

Tell me, seriously, what do you do to keep yourself in a Life of Gratitude?

Monday, July 2, 2012

The Full Moon and moving furniture by her light...

  I said it was the right partnership.  Some will argue that.  I think we fit.  She is wonderful in every way, but most all she is human, just like me.  She wants good for her son, and will go down fighting to give it to him.  I like that about her.  What I love about her even more is that she makes the ache of being so far away from my beloved kin easier.  She has a heart that is entirely way too big for her little itty bitty body.  She reminds me of every female that I love and am so far away from, in the best way.
  She thought she couldn't do this, yet here she is.  Doing just what she thought she couldn't do.  I'm so proud of her.  Even when she cons me into going to move salon furniture from her old spot to the new in the middle of the night at that.  I'm easy prey though, it just takes two hamburgers and a root beer to keep me happy.
  Tonight was the first time since we moved here that I have been out of the house with out Nae or Trav, and out in the dark at that!!  I used to pull this stuff with my girls in Cali.  At least once a month my sisters and I could be found running around Safeway or Walmart in the wee hours.  Because sleep eluded us, we were bored, or for the real reason: It was just fun. I miss that.  But, I'm glad to be making heartships here too.
  And if she calls in the middle of the night to move salon furniture by Moonlight, I would help her again.  Because it was fun and she's worth it.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Thankful, for an opportunity

  For the last three weeks, I have been busy.  Sanding, cleaning, scrubbing, painting, sweeping, vacuuming, more painting.  I am exhausted.  I have wondered a few times as I have dragged my sore, beat up body out of bed and got on with it, 'Just how is it that you keep getting up to do this Norma?'  Everything aches, yet there is still more to do and I keep pushing to do it.
  With the encouragement of my wonderful husband and sweet little girl, I have decided that it was time to open up shop.  A Massage Therapy studio that is.  The time, space, correct partnership and the moon were all in agreement.  There are no promises with my new adventure,  its up to me to make it a success.  After all the cosmetic work is done, I then have to turn my attention to the real work.  Being the best Massage Therapist that I'm capable of being.
  I have the opportunity to be to a community something that I have always wanted, Helpful.  
  This is something I know how to do.  I am very capable of doing. I have five and a half years of experience.      Honestly, I really love doing this work.
  I have my worries, I think that is natural.  I just have to stop at worry.  Not let that emotion ramble on to doubt, fear and anxiety.  I think I'm just tired.
  We have a break for a Colorado trip in four days.  My tired body, especially my hands, need the break.  I'll get a chance to regroup mentally too.
  Thinking about this opportunity, the planning and such, I'm so Grateful for a chance to do this here in our new home state.
  Goddess please lift me up and help me be the very best that I can be.

Friday, June 8, 2012

If its right, it just keeps coming back.

   With all the things I have been doing to get this up off the ground, I have felt a lot of emotions of late.  Excitement, Joy, Anticipation, confusion, anxiety, fear, self-consciousness, determination its all been an amazing journey.  And its only been a week in the making.
   I have been bent over the Google docs, creating a new business plan, updating my resume, writing a lease document,, updated New client forms, updated client records paperwork, gathering certificates, policies and licenses.   My brain is fried.
  I've done research, read articles, gone over all my schooling notes.
  And I haven't even begun the actual renovations of the physical space.  I'm sure the old body will ache all over once that part is in the rights as well.
   I can honestly tell you that when I sit and think of all of the things I am feeling with this new chapter opening in  my Life, the one thing I am not this time around is stressed.
   Its such a great feeling when something you love to do becomes your Life work.  And no matter how many times you have to say good-bye to your Life work, it just keeps finding you.
   If its right, it just keeps coming back.

Elusive huh?  I'll keep you posted.  You'll see.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

When will we realize?

I watched a show this weekend where the parents were judging, and off-putting about their children's choices in their lives.
This stuff makes me really sad.  When are we going to learn?  Why can't we make the change to Grateful?  Don't get me wrong, there are things that I'm hard on my daughter about.  She's learning expectations, but there is a way to do it without killing her Light.
Not one day goes by that I'm not grateful for a chance to be part of her Life.  Her Life path is not for me to decide, change, organize.  I have to help her learn to use the tools to build her own Life.  Its hers to build, however way she wants.
I can honestly say I will be happy so long as she is happy.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Taking a minute

After Nae's bedtime routine, I caught Trav looking at her portraits in the Living room.  I asked him what he was looking at.  "Just the difference in her features, from 2yrs, to 3, then to 4.  Now she's 5 and she looks nothing like she did at four."
These statements, between husband and wife are the ones I will cross to the Summer lands being grateful and blessed to have.
My baby Sister is in town for a visit.  We spent the day shopping for school clothes for Nae yesterday.  We had a really fun time.
After Trav's statement, I find my mind flashing back to her first year of Life and then to the present and all that she is now.  Amazing.
And she just keeps growing.
And I am beyond Grateful to be a part of it and witness the magic of what Life really is about.

Love, Light and Bright Blessings,

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Your glow

Nae: Momma What's a soul?
Me: Its right here honey.  (Pointing to her heart) 
Nae: Right here?  (Tapping her Chest)
Me: Yup, right there.  It shares the same space as your heart.
Nae: But what does it do Momma?
Me: Oh, baby.  Its what makes you glow.
Nae:  (Eyes wide, smile starting)  I glow?!
Me: Yup, you glow.  And when you smile or something makes you even happier, you glow even brighter.
Nae: Wow, that's nice Momma.  I like that.

See what I get to be around?  This kid is amazing.  Yup, its a biased opinion.  

Saturday, May 12, 2012

It will never ceases to amaze me.

  Hubby cooks on Saturday and Sunday nights.  So, I am on clean-up duty.  Tonight, I looked up from KP detail to see my daughter cuddled up on the floor next to my hubby, leaning in and giving him a kiss.
  It was in that sweet moment, on the eve of Mother's Day, that I realized how Lucky I am.  I pray to the Goddess that I never ever forget that.
  That feeling never gets old, I truly believe that it never will. 
  Quite awhile ago, I never thought I would be a Mom.  Now, I'm in Joyous tears to see my wee little family bloom and thrive.  I'm beside myself with Gratitude, that I get to be here and be a part of this.
  I've said it in a few other blogs on here, My real Mother's Day is February 24th, but on this national day of celebration, again, it all comes into focus.
  Here's wishing you, who take the time to read this little blog site, a very heart felt Happy Mother's Day!!
In the Lighted Path, sending the Brightest of Blessings,

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Brought to tears...

  Have you ever been brought to your knees in Happy tears?  I find that there have only been a handful of times this has happened to me prior to meeting my husband and having our daughter. Then, in their presence, I have been brought to that point countless of Grateful times.
  I listened to my daughter sing her lullabies to me tonight, and in her honest, loving voice.  It made my heart swell with love and brought tears to my eyes.  Welling over and falling from my face, I've done it so many times in front of her.  She just grabs me by my neck and hugs me tight.
  I'd say I have it all. 
Blessed Be- Norms

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Missing the Mark

  I keep missing Thankful Thursday.  I was about to beat myself up over it, but then I decided that helps no one.  Life has been busy lately, must be all the visitors that are making their way from the west coast to "Middle Earth" as my sister calls it. :)  And Life is happening in between the visits.  Life is Good.  So many things come to mind as far as Gratitude goes.  I could try and name all of them, but I'm sure that I'd still miss a few on top of that.
  I can say that there has not been one day this week that I've not been taken back at least once by Gratitude.  Little things and big things, its amazing, inspiring, and wonderful.  I mean that its not just the work of Gratitude I see in my Life, but in how its weaving itself around in the Lives of Family and Friends as well.
  I've come to learn this week, that that is my part of a Life of Gratitude.  I can add to my Life all I want, it will work for me in many ways.  Yet, what is a Life like this if I can't share it?  I've learned that an other part is to inspire it in others Lives, encourage it, watch it grow, water it with hope and love.  Its a beautiful thing to witness.
  For that, I am Thankful.

Love, Light,and Bright Blessings,


Monday, April 30, 2012

Tough Lesson's to Learn

Judgement goes against the Laws of Love.

Oh man, most times I can look past passing judgement.  But there are still a few people and situations I just can't seem to rise above.  It makes me no better than those I judge.  It's quite a humbling experience to stop in the middle of a mental rant and realize that it's wrong, what I'm doing. 
That's a big Life Lesson to stumble upon so early in the morning, so early in the week.  I guess I know what my waking reflection will be this week.
I will keep trying.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Happy Thursday!! What are you Thankful for?!

I missed last week!! 
For very good reason.  My Gran and Aunt were here for a visit!!  It was fabulous!  It was three days of catching up and shopping for quilt material in Wichita.  Gran quilts.  She is AWESOME at it.  But the visit was just too short.  They had to get to Paducah Kentucky for the National Quilt show, then on to Illinois to see my sweet cousin.
This week was Kindergarten Round Up.  It's an orientation for this fall's set of kids and parents entering Kindergarten.  Parents get info and Kids get to spend a few hours in school seeing what the next school year will be like.  I love that the school does this.  Nae was beside herself excited.  I got a few hours to myself, it was wonderful!!
I got to have a tour of my Sis's new house via Skype, it was awesome to finally see it.  I'm so proud of her and my brother.  A place to call their own.
Baby Sister got a promotion at work and took the time out of her training session in San Fransisco to call and update me. 
It was 94 degrees here last night, the house was hot and the air conditioners are not in windows yet.  Momma got very little sleep.  When I did fall into some sort of slumber, I was awaken to my five year old daughter standing by my bedside with toast made and my vitamins.  "Time to get up Momma, I made you breakfast.  Charlie will be here soon."  (The little boy that we watch four days a week)
What is not to be Thankful for in all I have just layed down on this page?  Exactly.

Bright Blessings,

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Thankful Thursday...

So, our 9th wedding anniversary was yesterday.  We celebrated in a very low key way, homemade dinner at home with the little girl beside us.  She thought she was quite special being a part of such a big kid deal.  She was such a good kid at the dinner table.  I left the two to their own devices, while I took myself to an hour in the tub, relaxing.  Its what I needed, then I wondered why the hell I haven't been stepping away from the family scene and giving myself a few minutes.So, that leads me to the Thankful things this week.
A minute to myself.
An approved final piece of paperwork to finalize my sister's home loan.
A few awesome posts from family recognizing my sixteen year relationship with Hubby.
My little girl recognized the value of all day PJ and snuggle time with mom, we were down for the count on Monday with some Out-of-nowhere cold.  She loved it and asked to have a day like that on Friday.
I have a great Husband.  I so thankful for having him by my side.  Here's to many more years.

In Love and Light,

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Thankful Thursday

This week has been a blur, adding/changing things around in the schedule has taken me from the blogpsot this week.  Its good stuff though.  So let's just cut to the meat of the situation, huh?
  • I have had a few bumps this week with TMJ, Thankful to have a Hubby to help me out when I need it.  So glad he takes care of me.
  • Thankful for Naenah being a kid.  Realizing that she won't be a kid for very long, and just letting her be one.
  • We have a CHL league in town, Hubby, Nae, and I got tickets to see a play-off game.  Nae LOVE IT!! Grateful to be able to give and watch her in new experiences.
  • Good news back on my Dad's Dr appts.  For a two time cancer survivor, good news is the Life line of a healthy life.
  • Thankful that my Big Sister (Trav's Sis)  can call me whenever she needs to vent.  Extremely relieved that she did so this week.  It's a long road for her, but I will be there to help.
  • I've had the chance to connect with family this week.  Stay in touch, and get updates from a bunch of family.  SO thankful for that.
So its short and sweet this week.  How about you?

Love, Light, and Bright Blessings,

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Thankful Thursday...

  Happy Thursday!!!!  Thankful Thursday once again.  The Life Lessons were abundant this week. I had the chance this week to really see quite a few Life Lessons in action.  Some positive, others devastating, but making a turn to positive.  Others, were gripes, that hubby and I usually talk our way through, through out the week.  We confir on things that are irritating us, and nearly almost always find a lesson we didn't even see coming.
  Tragedy struck family friends in a way this week that took Hubby and I almost to our knees.  She was six and a half months Preggo with twins.  They couldn't wait any longer to grow inside, they met the world eighteen weeks too early.  Abigail and Emily were surrounded with Family and Love, and only after a few short moments, they went on to the Summerlands.  This initiated our family in dedicating our March for Babies walk donations to these little Spirits and the Harris-Hodnet-Juarez Family.  What did we learn from this?  Thankfulness.  Gratitude.   Life has a way of reminding you its too short, Love, and Live while you can.  Tell them you love them, every single chance you get.
  I have learned in a very acute way how different styles of parenting affect the outcome of a child.  I was quick to locate what I thought was wrong, then stopped short and rethought that one for a bit longer.  Its not wrong, its just different.  And I'm positive that others view our parenting style as quite different as well.  To each thier own.  If you can make them an outstanding person, the roads of many  travel to the one final destination.
  The is to be said with animals.  Again, we are different than most here.  Allowing our dogs to be "inside" animals, its not a common the place thing here.  Dogs are usually outside animals.  Period.  The notion of letting them share space with you let alone your children, is still a rather new thing here.  Its hard in the winter months to see them in outside kennels, but that is my soft heart.  A "pushover" if you will.  I'm human and just a flawed as the next person.
  This week brought Birthdays. My Mom's, and my Brother's (middle sisters husband).  New job beginnings, thank the Goddess for that!!  And an other planned trip booked by loved ones to travel out here to see us truly!!  Our spring and summer are loaded with visitss, I LOVE IT!!
  It a long week for Hubby at work, this is his weekend to work an extra day.  Six days total this week.  He doesn't mind it as much as I do, again, Grateful to have a person like him to Live by.

Your turn, can you think of even just one thing??  It will make you look at your week in a way that will make you feel like the time hasn't just past, but that you earned it.

Love, Light and Bright Blessings,

Monday, March 26, 2012

March for Babies, this year we honor Abigail and Emily

  For those who are new to this blog, are finding it for the first time, or  would like to be reminded.  I am a mother of a child that was born at 39 weeks who was only 4lbs and 15oz.  She was at term, but we dealt with Pre-eclampsia from 7 months on.  I wish I could say that our labor was smooth, but it was not.  We ran into one complication after an other.  Amino-fusion, infection(for both of us), fever, rise in my blood pressure, drop in her little heart rate, labor on my back for 27 hours, an epidural that confused my little one even more.  She was so tired and confused by my last push, that there was no cry.  In fact she was born not breathing and her little heart was not pumping.  It was the longest 45 seconds of my entire life.  Thank the Goddess for knowledgeable, well trained, helpful staff.  My OB and Peds doctor on call and the nursing staff at Mercy San Juan, had the room ready for anything and everything they needed to do to get Naenah on track.  They zapped her little heart once and she cried to most glorious scream I have ever heard.
  The nursing staff readied Trav and I mentally for complications.  They told us that she was tiny, that we would have to do several extra little things to keep her thriving.  We trusted everything they said and taught us.  After her first hour in NICU, the infant nurse on call came to my room.  She walked right to me and gave me the truthful run down of my baby's health.   Aside from being small in every sense of the word, her blood sugar was a little off, but other than that, the Peds Doctor gave her a clean bill of health.  She reminded me that she was still a very tiny baby and that they would keep teaching us stuff that they looked for in Preemie babies.
  The next morning Naenah's Peds doctor paid us a visit.  I was anxious, ready for any and all instructions from him.  He was so good to us, he could tell we were nervous for our tiny Nae.  He was relaxed, calm.  He told us that she her blood sugar was low, and even though we had planned to breastfeed, bottle feeding was going to have to happen as well.  Then he would take her blood sugar again in the AM and see where she stood.  "Other than that, she's just small.  Do not treat any different.  She is healthy and everything is working."  I could hear myself exhale. He patted me on back, and said he'd be by check on her the next day.
  I was beside myself.  So, so humbled and thankful that our little girl was healthy, even though her start was so rough.  Four days, I couldn't sleep.  I couldn't take my eyes off that miracle of a baby.  The Nursery staff nicknamed her Peanut, and fought over who got to come and get her from me for vitals checks.  It wasn't just my heart she had stolen, only four days old.
  Every year of Naenah's life we have walked in the March for Babies. We were not helped directly by March of Dimes, but we know extensively what they do to help babies.  We were empowered by our support staff at Mercy San Juan.  And if we can help an organization do that for other families, its the least we can do.
  Just two short days ago, a young family very dear to us had their twins, Abigail and Emily, pre-term.  The girls, Ada and Ama were surrounded by Love and Family.  18 weeks early,  the girls went on to the Summerlands after just a few short hours of Life.
  This year our walk in March for Babies is dedicated not only to our Naenah, who is thriving , but to Abigail and Emily.   Help us help babies thrive!!!  Donate if you can, re post my donation page if you can.  Anything helps!!  Everything is appreciated.
Help us honor Abigail and Emily Harris-Hodnet-Juarez.
Thank you for your time.
Wishing you Love, Light and Bright Blessings.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Thursday, Hello...

  Well, of course this week would rush by! Its spring break for us and we are lounging a lot this week.  Now, that doesn't mean that we are not keeping up on school work.  But we are certainly enjoying the extra time to lay around. 
  Its been rainy and cold here, perfect cuddle weather.  So, we have taken in quite a few shows of late.  Hubby and I have started to really LOVE Big Bang Theory.  Those guys are Hilarious!
  My Dad is a two time Renal Cancer Survivor.  He has been through a lot.  He hit another health snag in just the last few days.  What I'm Thankful for is that he didn't ignore any thing and is now going to be in his doctors good care.  He finally sees that valuing his health means so much to his family.  No matter what this hurdle will bring, he has family to back him.
  I have had the opportunity once again to be reminded of why I don't like to pass judgement on others this week.  Yet, how easy it is for others to fold their opinions of you so neatly.  I thought I was angry about it, but really just heart broken.  I don't love them any less, but I just wish they would see some sort of happiness instead of always negative.  We are trying our very best.  I can't convince them of any more.
  My daughter wrote her name from memory all by herself this week, and has continued to do so all week long.  Repetition and retention.  There are alot of things about our educational system that are changing and will continue to change, this is not one of them.
  I got to touch base with all the Family this week, I love it.  The potential for reunions is in the air, and I cannot wait!!

How about you??  Have you thought about what your Thankful for this week?  Come on now, just one thing.  Let's hear it!!

Love, Light and Bright Blessings,

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Thankful Thursday...

  I missed last Thursday!!  Its been a buzz of activity around here.  We have had a shift in our daily Lives towards empowering my daughter to this coming school year.  That's where I was last Thursday, Kindergarten Assessment.  Its the first line of the process towards getting Naenah into school in the fall.  And a real eye-opener for this Momma. 
The actual process is very good in accessing if kids are really ready for school.  Most people we dealt with were encouraging and kind.  However, our last stop of the day, we encountered a teacher that had lost her Light.  She passed judgement on my girl without really even trying to know her.  She wanted to write her off before even giving her a shot.  Thank the Goddess for the school psychologist!!  June I'm forever in your debt!!
  I can't fix a jaded teacher.  I can, however, prepare my daughter.  Ultimately, her education is still my responsibility.  I'm grateful I learned this much sooner than later. I think this is the thing I'm most grateful in this last week.  There were several emotions that rolled through before I got to this one, but I'm so glad that I got to this one.  I'm grateful that Gratitude prevails in my mind set.
  I took four day, three and a half really, out of my Life and read the Hunger Game series.  Man.  Storytelling is beautiful, so fluid to read.  It made for a quick, easy to follow read time.  The characters are so well developed, its easy to make them come to Life and know them as true beings.  Collins has done a rather wonderful job.  However, there are not many happy moments in this series.  These books are very emotionally charged, sad and filled with so much dis pare.  Just when you think that these heroes can't possibly take any more, something else gets thrown at them.  I was so emotionally drained by the end, the final twist was the most upsetting.  These are YA books!!! 
  Why is this on my Thankful Thursday list??  Well, I have learned something about myself here.  And a bit about others.  I'm Thankful for that, and can appreciate how others can view the world through the books the read as entertainment.  This series is not entertainment to me.  This informative, heartbreaking. And really, not at all happy and fun.
  I wonder how some can live Life so unhappy.  How its so hard for some to see the world in a happy, healthy light.  If this is the stuff that the general public reads as entertainment, I have a clearer understanding as to why Happiness and Gratitude are so hard for some to understand.
  In other News...
Middle Sissy and her hubby bought a house!!!!  Yay for them!!  Home ownership is a Big Girl thing.  It still scares the heck out of hubby and I.  I'm sure we're due for that sort of responsibility soon.  I'm so excited for her though.  Its times like this that I wish I was closer to my girls.
  I got to skype with baby sissy yesterday, for a long time!!  We talked about nothing and everything and it was good to just hang out.  Nae made her giggle with her silly antics.  It times like these  wish I was closer to my girls.
I got to skype with Momma on her new iPad2.  She's still learning her way around it, but man is it good to be able to just skype when ever and not have to wait for one of the girls with a web cam to go up and visit.  Now, if we could just get Grammy on board, Nae could see her every week as well!!
  Spring Break next week!!  So Nae and I get a break from watching the little boy we help out with on school days.  We have some painting and stuff around the house to do, but I'm hoping for days at the library, park and on the front porch too!!!
  Your turn.
  I hope that your path is Lighted in Gratitude.
Bright Blessings,

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Thankful Thursday...

  So, its that time of the week again!!!  Happy Thursday!!  or Happy Friday Eve!!  As my baby brother (sister's hubby) would say!!
  Noticed a lot of Negative Nancies on all my social feeds in the last few weeks.  With the economy in the dumps and the price of gas rising to "oh so scary".  I can see how the tunnel could feel Lightless. 
  However, like anything else in our Lives, our points of view are our choice.  I post on this blog weekly as a reminder to myself that a Life in Gratitude may not always be easy, but its still my choice.  If someone else happens upon in it and can take something from it, then its done its job twofold.
  We have family friends here in our little town that happily donated a lightly used, outgrown girls bike to Nae for her birthday.  So, my first Thankful image that comes to mind is of my Sweetness on that bike.  Its taken her a few days to grow comfortable on it, its still a pretty slow go.  BUT, yesterday I watched confidence grow and weave itself into her little personality.  The look on her face as "too fast" went from scary to exhilarating.  She took two pretty big spills and there was no crying, she just got back up and hopped back on.  I said it on my FB status last night.  She's my hero and I hope to be like her when  I grow up.
  My dad got my mom an iPad2, and we have been Skyping.  If you have ever been away from family, Skyping eases the ache of Homesickness.  Nae loves showing LeeLee all of the stuff she's gotten for her birthday.
  My baby sister was up for a visit with my folks.  I got to Skype with her too.  Her hubby has been away on a business trip, so I'm grateful that my parents were around this week to be with her.  I hate being away from hubby, so I've been checking on her too.  She got to go to dinner with her Bestie she hasn't seen in awhile last night.  I love that good friends withstand the tests of time.
  Connected with middle sister too this week.  She too is learning and Living a Life in Gratitude.  Her and her hubby have had a rough go of it in this past year.  Yet, they trudge through.  Holding onto each other as tight as possible.  This week has had a few breakthroughs for them, I'm Grateful that Life is agreeing with them for even a single moment.
  Nae has been showered with gifts of Love from just about everyone in the family.  We are incredibly Humbled by all the Love all our family has showered us with.  Hubby and I have taken a stroll down memory lane thinking of all our family that have sent Love this last week.
  There is a ton more, but really, this is enough reading for one blog.
Happy Thursday!!!!
P.S.  A few shout outs to Girlfriends....Cindy, I hope is well!!  Thinking of you, can't wait to see you back up on FB after Lent!!  Kaci, Emmy is amazing!!  LOVE all the family updates!!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Thankful Thursday...

  Here we are on the Eve of my real Mother's Day.  My Sweetness will be five years old tomorrow.  Five.
Since October of 2011, I have been in a daze, wondering where in the heck time has gone.  Hubby and I have reminded each other since the day she was born to cherish every single second with her.  Yet, here we are, still stunned and in a ponder.
  The first eight months of this year, are her last before the school years begin.  I'm beside myself.  If I think she's an amazing kid now, I can't even begin to imagine how she will take the outside world and make it her own.
 For now, it'll be ice skating and science exploring.  It's gonna be a fun weekend!!


                                    Happy 5th Birthday Naenah Delane!!!!!!!!!  I love you.

More on Naenah and her story, how is improved "us and Me",

Friday, February 17, 2012


  In the last few weeks, I have have an amazing chance to just sit and visit with my mom.  The last few times we were in Cali visiting, we had mission upon mission to fulfill for Bridal showers, Bachelorette parties, and weddings.  We were constantly on the go, visiting in between when we could. 
  With mom here the last few weeks, its been great to really sit and visit proper.  She gets a glimpse of our daily lives and gets to really "see" if we are okay.  My parents are funny like that.  They're so supportive, our move was a good move to them.  They just like seeing the town and knowing the ongoings.  I'm okay with that.  Its nice to have them interested enough to want to know.
  I have grown a lot as an individual in the last year and a half away from my sisters and mom.  We as a family, have had more time together living in close proximity than most families ever get in their entire lives.  I have lived with or close to my sisters for the better part of my thirty-six year old life.  Yup, I just revealed my age there. 
  My mom went back to work when I was nine.  Old enough to care for my sisters, whom are younger than me and my dad when he would get home from work.  That was when the poor guy wasn't on deployment for months on end in the middle of an ocean somewhere.
  I have known my mom as a peer, an adult, for most of my life.  She would stand in as a Mom when she had to, but we have a relationship that is more about leaning on one another than mother/daughter.  I had resentment that my childhood was cut short to help raise her family.  But, as time had gone on, and as I started to see what negativity was doing to my Life, I have had a chance to let it go.  That, and a good solid six months of therapy sessions. :)
  What I'm trying to say is, this has been a really good visit.  No rehashing things in the past, just a stroll  down memory lane.  A lot of giggling, and good crying.  As much as I'm not looking forward to seeing her leave for home, I think about when she goes.  Instead of sadness and tears, I think I will be wrapped up in the fact that she go tot visit and be happy and grateful in fact that I got to spend some good quality time with her.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Its Thursday

  Quite a few people in tough spots on their Life paths this evening.  Makes me take stock in my own Life.  I don't regret anything.  I'm so grateful for what I have been gifted.  My goal is to never loose sight of what is most dear to me, but when I see so many struggling, is it enough?
  Is it?  Does the universe understand that I get it?  I have learned a Lesson that takes so many their whole lives to figure out.  I don't ever want to go back to living and breathing negative energy day in and day out, EVER.
  I saw first hand how a Life so negative can kill you.  It happens ever so slowly, then builds, causes dis-ease, and fester into illness.  An illness that can consume you and take everything away.
  Thank the Goddess he turned,  his perspective around just in time.  Thank the Goddess, there were so many that Loved him enough to poor Loving prayers into the Universe for him.
  Now, he lives a healthy, happy, positive cancer free Life.  He's my Dad.
  She could have decided to try on another day.  That twenty-seven hours of labor, in crappy conditions was just about all she could handle.  Even though she was born and it took forty-five seconds for her heart and lungs to figure out the confusion, she drew her first breath.  And with it came her will to Live.  She was tiny, and should have spent a good month in the NICU.  But in that little body there was a Might of will, that to this day is not defeated easily.
  Now, she is five.  Strong, strong-willed, funny, healthy.  She is my daughter.
 Only two of SO MANY inspiring stories that touch my humble Life on a daily basis.  If they can Live on, I can do them justice by being Grateful. I can remember how they fought, and use it as fuel to Live in Gratitude, and take nothing for granted.
Bright Blessings,

P.S.  CONGRATS to my Sweet friend Kaci, and her Family!!  They welcomed Sweet Emmy into the world this week!!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Cinderella got a day off.....

  I asked my family to beat the Sun this last Saturday.  Driving into the city, just before the Sun came up.  Half way there, the Sunrise burst onto the horizon.  I thought, 'Now that, is a great birthday present'.
  Since my twenty-second birthday, I have tried to watch the sun come up on my birthday.  I think I have only missed one or two.  It is one of the single best ways to start that day, my personal New Year. 
  The Sunrise this year was not disappointing.  That my family was with me to see it, made it that much more special.
  We went out to breakfast, then after breakfast I was promptly dropped off at Hobby Lobby.  ALL BY MYSELF!!!!!  Hubby, the Nae, and my Momma did all the grocery shopping and oil changing.  While I had a solid two and a half hours of no kiddy interruptions in a Big Girl play land.  I got three Happy Birthday Calls while browsing the store, but how fun was it to look and talk and not have to worry about little hands touching what they shouldn't or if Mini Me had wandered too far from Momma.
  I was humored even after that and herded them all into not one but TWO malls.  Nae was in a dreamland!!  I think my girl loved walking the mall way more than she should have.  But, her daddy and I love to people watch, so I'm sure she's like us in that sense.
  Hubby, did absolutely no grumbling, followed us everywhere, carrying winter coats under big strong arms, shelling out cash for pretty baubles.  My Momma love the time to stretch in a warm place, walk and watch her granddaughter.
  Then it was a stop for frozen amazing chocolate custard and then homeward.  Where Hubby made us all wonderful steaks and garlic bread.
  Sunday morning I got the traditional homemade chocolate donuts that I ask for every year.  He labors for a good two hours, but oh sweet heaven!!  They are so worth it!!
  Hubby worked like a dog on Saturday and Sunday morning to make my birthday pretty special.  I always usually get the whole weekend.  But, this year, he gave out early.  Slacking just after breakfast with fatigue.  It only took one smart remark from him for the Magic of Birthday Mood to snap, poof and disappear.
And just like that Cinderella looked around and she was back in her dirty house clothes with a pumpkin sitting next to her.  I could've demanded more time I guess.  But, as I looked around the kitchen, I decided that it was for the better.  I needed to take back my claim on my kitchen, which always suffers at the hands of First Mate.
  All in all, it was a fun Birthday.  How better to celebrate than with family in close proximity.  I got a few hours all to myself, something that doesn't happen very often.  I'm grateful for it.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Thankful Thursday...

  As a football fan, it would be sac-religious not be thankful for the win that the NYC Giants this last weekend.  GO Giants!!  Congrats Eli Manning for a second Super Bowl win.   I just wished that LSU would've shown up and won that championship.  There is always next year.
  With my Momma here visiting, Trav has had a PS3 Move Bowling partner!  He has taught her all the controls and moves.  So, every few days, they cue it up and bowl at least three games.  My Mom LOVES bowling, and Trav loves bowling with her.  Grateful for the chance to watch them giggle together.
  Naenah finally finished her Valentine's Day card for her Daddy.  Craft time with this kid is such a fun experience.  She talks about the people she makes the crafts for, weaving Happy intent into her gifts.  I love being around her when she oozes that giving spirit, you can feel it in the air around her.  We squeezed in a few more crafts to add to the ones we did.
  I got to touch bases with three of my sisters this week. Skype with lil sis twice on her days off.  Chat with my middle sis on her way home from work.  A heart to heart with my older sis (Trav's Sis) that I think we both needed.
  Hubby went walking with us this week!!  It was good, but he had me in stitches laughing so much that I almost peed my pants!!  We got to see the full moon, and just be. 
  How about you?  Let's hear it.  Give me just on thing that you were Grateful for??

  Consider this reflection a step in taking care of yourself.  Stop a minute and see if you can find something, then, see how it makes you feel.  I promise it will give you a boost.

Light and Light,


Thursday, February 2, 2012

Thankful Thursday...

This week...

I got to touch bases with both of my sisters this week.  So good to hear their voices and see faces on Skype.

Momma is still here with us, an other week of listening to giggles and questions from her and Nae.  They are bunk mates, and I'm being told that she is resting very well at night with all the adventures they have during the day in playtime.

Hubby took time from work to go with me and Nae to her Wellness visit at the doctor.  It was so nice to have him with us, especially when the shots part came along.

My dogs.  They are so funny.  Such unconditional love.  They know just when you need to lean on them.  I love them even though they try to break in to their dog food bin.  (LeeLu)

The sunsets and mild weather have been beautiful here in slow, quiet little America.  Love it, have been able to go for hour and a half walks all week.  Nae cheats and rides in the jogger.  But Mom and I really get a few good miles in everyday.

This is my list for the week peeps.  How about you??  How was your week?

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Today its only twenty four days until she's 5 years old.

Hubby and I took the Nae to the doctor today, it was time for a Well Baby visit.  Which, because she's turning five, is now a Wellness visit.  She had to have shots.  Man, was she terrified.  With the persistence and bribery, she sat and braved through not one, not two, but three shots!!
We sang and looked away and all three of us held on to one another.  Half way through the ordeal, our brave sweet girl stopped her crying.  I do believe she realized that these no good shots didn't hurt as much as she had thought they would.
As soon as it had began, it ended.  And she had moved on to picking out a Spongebob sticker from the wonderful nurse's stash.  We were buckling her into her car seat when she spoke up, "Now is it time to go pick out my ice cream?"  LOL   I told you we used bribery!!  Nope, I'm not beyond it.
So, in about six months time, my sweet little baby girl will attending kindergarten.  Just like that, five years have gone by.  Five years???   Was it really that long ago that we labored for twenty-seven hours only to have her born not breathing, and heart not working in her first forty-five seconds of life?
Now?  She's strong and tough.  Stubborn and smart.  And always, always hungry!! ...always, hungry.
I caught my hubby telling her how proud of her he was today.  That even though she was scared, she braved through those shots.
I think of that moment and realize that these two are the very reasons I tough it out instead of just staying in bed with the covers over my head.  When you need it most, Life hands you inspiration.
Just think, this isn't even my Thankful Thursday post yet!!   :)

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Thankful Thursday...

This one is a special one.  Its been four and a half months since I've been in the same room as my mom.  I say it that way because even though I'm in Kansas and she's in Cali, we talk about three to four times a week.  Either by phone, chat of FB, or skype when she has it available.
She's never been to my home in Kansas.  Its been almost a  year and a half since we moved here.  With two weddings, our moving, and Life happening in between.  Mom just hasn't had the opportunity.
Until now.  Dad put her in the truck and brought her back to stay with us a few weeks!!  Its only been four days, and we are all in pure Bliss.  It is one of the most amazing things to hear my daughter's laugh mixing with my Momma's laugh when they play.  Its the same feeling hearing my other mom (Trav's mom) laughing with her and hearing Trav laugh with her.
I love hearing Momma laugh and interact with Hubby.  He is enjoying her here, took her out to the site and showed her what he does. She's always been one of his biggest Fans and supporters.  Buttons popping off her blouse, she came home pronounced that she was quite impressed with what he now does for a living.
My mom has a way of talking to me that uplifts and gives support all at the same time, but still being very down to earth and available in conversation.  It has been wonderful having actual Face time with her.
I'm so thankful.  Beyond Grateful to have this time with her.  The memories we are making will be in my heart's soul forever.
LeeLee and the Nae doing what they do best...Playing!!

In other Thankful news...

I got a few to tell me what they were Thankful for on my FB page today!!  Those people are pretty awesome people and I look forward to interacting with them on FB.  I love that communities of support aren't stopped by distance anymore...AMAZING!!

I got to see my baby sister on skype today, and although Skype was being a bit of a pain, it was a much need and very non-hurried conversation with her. 

I got to talk to my middle sister on her way home from work on a day that was really rough at the office for her.  I love talking with her on her way home, I can hear the stress melt away and feel the focus of family in the air as she tells me, "okay, sis, I'm home now."  It feels good to be able to catch up and help at the same time.

I got to hear the Nae sing Happy Birthday to my older sister (Trav's sis) and hear the giggle of pure joy in my sister's voice as she sang to her.  The woman has had a bad hand dealt to her and she just keeps on impressing me with her ability to overcome.

I received awesome news from my Gran, got to touch bases with my cool Aunt in Cali, congratulated my baby cousin on her first half marathon.

Once again, I ended up with so much to be thankful for.  And seeing it in words shows me once again how it keeps my Life in alignment.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Mom, I want to talk about brothers and sisters...

I had wondered if this conversation would ever come about.  She's turning five in a month, I just thought she hadn't given it much thought.  We have family friends that come over after their school day sometimes and fill the afternoon with play, giggles and screams and then some more giggles.  They are a brother and a sister.  The sister is a bit older than Nae, nine years old.  The brother is a year younger than Nae and we get him four days a week in the mornings before his preschool starts.  Yesterday Nae must have really noticed the ongoings between the siblings.  She woke up this morning and this is how the conversation unfolded.
She had just got up, she gets to have toast in her daddy's old ratty recliner. So she's sitting in the chair, wrapped up in a blanket, eye balling the TV.  I'm in the kitchen getting the stuff out to make her toast.

"Momma, I want to talk to you about me having brothers and sisters."
"Okay, sure.  Do you want a sibling Naenah?"
"What's a sibling?"
"Its another word for brother or sister."
"oh.  Yeah, that's just it mom.  I don't want one."
"Really?  No brother or sister?  You sure about that Nae?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Well, why is that Nae.  What made you make up your mind?"
"I don't want a brother."
"Honey, it could be that you end up with a sister not a brother."
"I don't want to take the chance momma.  I see all the trouble that Kaylee's brother gives her.  I don't want any part of that."
"Okay, Nae.  Dad and I will make sure to keep that in mind."
"Mom?,  Is my toast ready yet??"

And just like that she was done talking about a sibling.  I've played  back the scene in my head twice now.  Texted my hubby about it.  There is so much humor and honesty in this situation.  Hubby and I had decided a while ago that we were good with just it being the three of us.  I have told just about everyone that Nae is going to be an Only as she is called.
The response is mixed.  Some are good with it.  Others believe that we are doing our daughter a huge injustice by not giving her a sibling.  Some tell us she will grow spoiled and others tell us that its a good choice.  No matter really about what anyone thinks.  Anyone but Hubby and Nae really.  I knew already where Hubby stood.  We had just never heard Nae say anything either way.
There are really, really good valid reasons we stopped with just Nae.  If you really want to know, I'm sure you can find at least two blogs on this site that will tell you.  If anyone who is reading this can't find them, leave me a comment and I'll pull them for you.
This was the most serious I have ever seen Nae.  Then, just like that she was back to her playful, always hungry self.
SO, here is the Magical in the Mundane, in this situation.  There has always been something in me that even though I had pretty much made up my mind, I was really waiting to see what she had to say.  Now, I have an answer.  It came out of nowhere, but none the less, she has chimed in.  I'm sure it will always be a topic that we will discuss as she gets older, I'm just glad that she feels like she has a say and that she went ahead and let us know what she was thinking.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Thankful Thursday...Even I forget sometimes...

I spent the better part of yesterday really, really upset.  Yup, I was mad, pissed, disappointed, discouraged, angry.  All because I let two people make me that way.  Two people who aren't even close to me.  Yeah, I let that happen.  Only for my emotions to go nowhere and have my first thoughts validated twelve long hours later.
See, even for a girl who lives in Gratitude, I can have set backs.  It was because one of the things I enjoy doing most was being exploited.  Not respected.  I let these two get to me.
Poor Hubby did damage control all day long via text.  I was in tears and he consoled me. It only took a day for me to rebound and recount.
I lost the day.  Time with Nae.  Time to do things at home.  Just precious time, over two idiots that don't really mean anything to me.
What did I learn?  That even if it is an emergency to everyone else, I'm not going to roll over when you tell me to.  I stay at home for MY family not yours.  Regardless of what you think I do all day as a Stay At Home Mom, I have things I do all day long for my family.  I do have a schedule that I adhere to that revolves around MY family not you.  And the most important thing I learned...I have to learn to say NO.
Nae and Trav were the magic key to fixing my day.  They filled me up on Love and Caring.  Nae is a little under the weather but still managed to be Mommas uplifting Joy.
So, what am I thankful for?
That hubby loves enough to talk me off a so-to-speak Ledge.  He may not have thought it was that serious, but he never down played my agony.
That Little Girl can love me through even the most surly of moods.  She knew how important it was to sit and just let me brush her hair last night.
That Nae held my hands through Daddy reading her books.
That Daddy makes comments while reading books that are so funny.
That I got to chat with both my sisters this week.
That I have learned how to bounce back quickly from stupid people set backs!!
Bright Blessings!!

YOUR TURN!!  Just give even one little one!! :)

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Thankful Thursday...Quick, Quick, Quick!!

So, I have managed to fill my whole day with on-goings of nothing really Life changing and almost forgot that I have a post due on this very day every week!!! 
I bet you thought I wouldn't get it done, HA!!  I remembered just in time.  AND, I'm gonna get right to the point.  No back story...
* Spa Day with the wee little baby today (yeah right, she's five in a month and a half).  She doesn't fuss about nail cutting, her shampooing and all the grooming stuff if you pad it with girly fun things.
* I giggled with my friend while she was on my massage table in the middle of her massage.  I'm so proud of her for taking the time and committing to herself.  She has come leaps and bounds.
* I gave words in love to a baby sister in tears.  Overwhelmness is an issue us sisters seem to be able to fight better together.
* I gave recipes to my middle sissy and giggled with her over everyday stuffs.  How south westerner/Midwesterners do things compared to west coast attitude.
* I listened to my hubby recount the day for me, even if he thought it was uneventful.  I Love that he humors me.
It may not seem like that big of a deal.  This post keeps me in the mind frame of being mindful. 
I'm Grateful and Thankful.
Love and Light

Your Turn!!!!   Go!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Thankful Thursday...First one of the New Year!!

Happy Thankful Thursday!!! Its a New Year, but guess what?  There are still a ton of things to be thankful for.  Some start with a new slate each year, out with the old in with the new.  I get it, its a great way of looking at things.  I'm switching it up this year.  I'm going to move forward with last year in mind in most of my on-goings. 
Last year was a seriously intense year.  Emotional, financial, travels.  You name it, it happened.  If it didn't happen to us, it happened to someone we knew.  Out of all of that, I have learned a TON. 
So, this year.  I'm going to start by tip-toeing into the new year, and trying to remember all we went through and survived!!
Hubby and I are horrible about jewelry.  Between us we have lost both wedding rings and my sweet beloved engagement ring.  We have resorted to cheap rings so that if they are lost, its not the end of the world.  Although, I must say that Hubby NEVER even lifted an eyebrow when I had to deliver the news of my beloved Tanzanite be lost to me forever.  "Its just a ring Norma.  Remember you didn't want me to spend that much on it.  It's alright honey." he said.  Amazing guy, I still cried for a week straight.  It still makes me sad to think about losing it.
ANYWHO.....I bought Hubby a new cheapo ring this last holiday season.  He hasn't taken it off yet, it fits well.  Our luck, this will be the one that sticks for quite some time, figures.
I tell you this because, I see that ring on his finger and it makes feel Grateful.
For having him as a partner.
For him taking our commitment to each other seriously enough to try to wear it everyday.
Just seeing it on his finger makes my belly swoon.  I know, seriously!!!
Next, I have had an unexpected week off of looking after CharlieBoy this week.  Its let me start a new habit with the Girly.  We have been taking up the habit of stepping out in the afternoon and taking a walk together.  The first day was nothing but whining, its taking too long, I don't want to walk that far, can you please let me ride on your back?
I kept telling her that she has to walk to get strong.  That before she can run in soccer she has to walk to build muscle.  She's five in February.  I thought that the explanation would be lost on her.  Then yesterday, she outfitted herself with her walking gear and we set out on our walk.  No complaining to be heard of AT ALL!! Three-quarters through the walk, "Momma, walking is good for my body.  I'm gonna walk and not whine.  This is gonna help me with soccer and ice skating."
Wha??? Huh???  Oh Helena, hear we go!!  Ice Skating??!!!  How expensive is that??!!
We even talked about running a race together this year!! Oh the plans we have!!
Nonetheless, we are moving.  Its not alot, but its movement.  Until there is snow, or ice that is really bad we will move outside.  I'm grateful, really grateful.
Love and Light,