Thursday, August 18, 2011

Thankful Thursday....Tiny Babies.

My sister has a girlfriend that she has been friends with since they were the ripe age of eight.  That said girlfriend just had a very tiny, very healthy baby girl, Z.  This experience, although quite different from Naenah's, is still a story about being little.
Z is nine weeks early.  She has eight more weeks in the hospital before mommy and daddy get to take her home.  Low birth weight babies have a whole different set of challenges, add being a premie to the mix, the challenges pile up on eachother.
This kid is a fighter, she was born with everything in working order.  Although, because she's so young, its hard work some days to remember to breath, eat, and pump a little heart all at the same time!!  She's doing it, one day at a time.
I had the wonderful opportunity to catch up with Z's mommy the other day when she called to fill me in.  I'm so grateful to know Jess, and in a few short days I will get the chance to meet Z for the very first time.
Thankful this Thursday for Tiny Babies.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Cali Bound

A weeks ago, I started gearing up for our final trip to Cali.  I say final with no finality.  Two weddings in one year equals alot of expense.  Expense that my sweet husband was all too willing and glad to allow.  I forget that they are his kin as much, if not more, than they are mine.  I forget that as their brother, he hoped and wished for the day that our girls found the loves of their loves too.
Because of all of the traveling this year, we have decided to stay home bound in the next few years.  Travel will be closer to our home here, if any at all.  We have only one thing on the books for next year.  Our third oldest nephew's graduation in Salt Lake.  Other than that we will be home.  I state this because a few weeks ago, I started to think about the things I would miss about Cali.  All the places, hang outs, local eateries things like that.  What I wanted to visit this last time, to hold in my memory until we get back there again.
Now, that its tomorrow that Nae and I board a plane, I realize its not the places I will miss.  Its the people.  I have decided this morning that I'm gonna spend some real quality time with folks that matter most to me.  They will know who they are and I will know even more if/when they take the time to sit and visit.
Here's to lots of memories to hold us over!!
We're goin back to Cali, to Cali.  Goin back to Cali!!!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Thankful Thurday...MiliBrats Community

Okay, so if you read my last blog you will have a hint as to what my Thankful Thursday is...MiliBrats Community!!!
Okay, here's the back ground.  I have been able to reconnect with a group of people I never EVER thought I would be able to reconnect with again!! The ones that remembered who I am have been sending me friend request on FB.
One of the guys, Rob Mahan, started a GDHS Class of 1994 group.  Which is great! Because if everyone in that class could choose, we would have graduated from there as well.  Sadly, the class of '92 was the last class with the honor of graduating from George Dewey High School. It was closed down after the reckoning damage of the explosion of Mt. Pinatubo.
We have had the best time reconnecting.  Rob posted a statement the other day that went something like this..."What if this is all a dream and I wake up back in Mr. Pollard's World History class!!!"
I stopped everything I was doing at home and posted comment after comment on this status.  It was like the flood gates of memories that I pushed into a room in my head and close the door on, had just busted down said door and came rushing back!!
So many amazing people have found me, ones I thought for sure would never remember who I was.  Cut off from them and this community for so long.  I'm thankful to be a part of this elite group.  These kids know how good/hard/amazing/different it was to grow up on that base.  How life is with a Filipino mother, how different yet wonderful it was to grow up in a biracial home.
Thanks to Rob Mahan for putting me back in the loop, feels like home.  Even if the place doesn't exist anywhere but our minds and memories!!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

MiliBrats,The PI, and community

I have had the most amazing honor to reconnect.  A part of my youth, that I thought I only would have memories of has surfaced.  I have recently had the opportunity to reconnect with people who had the EXACT same experiences as me growing up.
I know, I know, you think to yourself that childhood for most is the same.  We grow, learn, and become the people we are through the experiences of our childhood and youth.  Yes, we do become who we are from our experiences.  But as any adult will tell another, those experiences are different for just about everyone. Being a Military Brat is as extreme as it gets as far as experiences go.
I have said before that I'm a military brat, I have explained all the moving.  How that affected me emotionally.  But, what I don't think I have been able to convey, until now, is how lost I was after my family hit Life stateside.
We were not a family that got to go where everyone else was that we were stationed with overseas.  We went far away from anyone that we had contact with.  My dad didn't do this maliciously, he did what he thought was right.  He knew how much the world was changing, how different it was from when he grew up.  I think he thought that if he brought us home, to where he grew up, we would have a fighting chance at a Life less interrupted by corruption, of all kinds.
That meant some really serious displacement for myself and my sisters.  My middle sister hit her stride here stateside.  Clubs, sports, choir, Cum Laude, the whole bit.  It was hard to be one of the ten non-white kids in school, but she trudged pasted it. The baby sissy, so adaptable.  She is still like that today!!!
Me, I felt lost.  Out of place.  Thank the Goddess for those few people that helped me adjust.  If you are reading this, you know who you are.  I'm so grateful to have had you looking out for me then and a really lucky girl to have you in my life still now!!
I got into contact with a few kids I knew in the PI, Philippine Islands.  If there were ever a group of MiliBrats that are in, and of themselves, this is the group.  We talk now and then on FB, then one of them started a group site on there.  More folks found me....I KNOW....ME!!!
We have been reminiscing ever since.  For so long, I have been without contact.  I really didn't think any of these people would remember who I was.  As the requests started coming in, I had an overwhelming sense of relief and hope.
Relief, that all those wonderful memories and friendships were not dreams.  Illusions that I had made up.  They were in fact VERY real!!  And those ghosts of people so fond in my memories were indeed alive and very, very well!!
Hope, because as a mistisa, (half white-half Filipino) growing up in a white dominated society, you sometimes lose yourself in it all.  Your white side goes on overdrive and you forget that wonderful and CRAZY Flip side.  I can't remember how many times I told my mom I feel lost and with just a few stories of the province and life there, I would remember who I am.  Thanks Mom.
Still, it was a grand way of Life there on Cubi Point/Subic Naval Airbase.  Most of the kids there were halfsies like me, their moms had crazy habits just like mine.  We looked like each other, knew what kind of pressures were waiting at home for us.
I feel like I have been given back a place in a very elite community.  It didn't matter to MiliBrats if our dads were different ranks, or that officer kids lived in a different part of housing.  We were buddies, even if we weren't in the same circles, we still rallied in circles for each other when we had too.  Which leads me to my Thankful Thursday of the week....hope you stay tuned.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Thankful Thursday!!

This is the result of having a husband that takes care of his family.
A New-er Family car.
Which rides like a luxury car!!
Because to us, IT IS!!

This is the Precious cargo that this new car transports.

This is the man that I'm thankful for. Who makes sure that we have what we need.

"Enough is abundance to the wise."
— Euripides
There was a time in my life, that there was always, bigger, better, faster, stronger. Somewhere along the way, I got tired of always trying to keep up.  I just wanted enough.  Now, living with just enough, I'm happier than I can even begin to describe.
I'm thankful for enough.
Happy Thursday!!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Follow up to yesterday's post

So, the teachers conducting the tests were so good at making it fun, that Nae didn't realize she had said her ABC's three time in a row until half through the third time!!
She had a blast, she tested beautifully.  However, because her wonderful father makes enough to support us, we don't qualify for any of the programs.  Sad, that she is good enough to be in school, but there is no school to take her.  I got a little more than miffed at this fact yesterday.
Today?  I stick by my idea to take it slow with her.  There are things that we can work on at home, and if she doesn't get school structure until kindergarten, then that is the way it should have gone.
I can give her back this year of leisure, one with no worries before Life begins to ascend on her. 
Summer will be lazy and restful, we pick up in the fall.  After dust from traveling settles and we are at home with a routine.

Monday, August 1, 2011

As She grows...

Today, almost a whole year before my girl has to go to school, we are going in for our very first learning assessment test.  Its offered free here by the school district.  It benefits a Bridges to Learning program here in town.  Really meant for children with learning disabilities and things.  Sometimes they take in kids as mentors to the others.  Ones that are up to par in their learning , but have the patience to help the others along.  A friend of ours thought that Naenah would be a good fit for such a mentor.  But first we have to take the assessment test.
I called last Friday for a an appointment.  They gave us 10 am this morning.  We have been telling Nae since Friday night that she is going in and they are just going to ask her some questions.  Her replies have been mixed.  She was okay with it, then goes to not wanting to go, then says she won't say her ABC's for anyone but me.  Anxiety.
She is having the assessment, and I am the one that is nervous!!!!!  Oh man, being a parent has been easy up until this very moment.
As a kid, I hated going to school.  Once I was there, I was fine.  I loved it.  But waking every morning, I always had anxiety.  Every. Single. Day.  Until my last day of high school.  Now, my worry is that the poor girl will have the same issue.  I spent many nights as a little girl crying myself to sleep because I didn't want to leave my mother's side the next day.
Funny how having kids brings back both good and bad memories!!  To ease me this morning, my husband told me we could always home school her!!! Poor guy, he'll say anything to ease me sometimes!!
Sad part about all this?   Naenah is gonna take her first step into the ranks of learning and thrive, my worry is for not.  She'll be a busy bee and love every minute of it.  It was the same worry I had when I thought that she was gonna be too shy as an only child.  That was SO far from who she is!!! LOL
I don't know how my mom worried about three girls, worked full time, and carried a household by herself nine months of every year those first ten years my dad was away in the Indian Ocean on a boat for the Navy.  I have a hard time coping with just one.
Here's to a Life just beginning and to all the chewed up nails her mother will have before then!!!
Can you believe that she wasn't even 5lbs when she was born?!!
Man-o, I really love her.