I had wondered if this conversation would ever come about. She's turning five in a month, I just thought she hadn't given it much thought. We have family friends that come over after their school day sometimes and fill the afternoon with play, giggles and screams and then some more giggles. They are a brother and a sister. The sister is a bit older than Nae, nine years old. The brother is a year younger than Nae and we get him four days a week in the mornings before his preschool starts. Yesterday Nae must have really noticed the ongoings between the siblings. She woke up this morning and this is how the conversation unfolded.
She had just got up, she gets to have toast in her daddy's old ratty recliner. So she's sitting in the chair, wrapped up in a blanket, eye balling the TV. I'm in the kitchen getting the stuff out to make her toast.
"Momma, I want to talk to you about me having brothers and sisters."
"Okay, sure. Do you want a sibling Naenah?"
"What's a sibling?"
"Its another word for brother or sister."
"oh. Yeah, that's just it mom. I don't want one."
"Really? No brother or sister? You sure about that Nae?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Well, why is that Nae. What made you make up your mind?"
"I don't want a brother."
"Honey, it could be that you end up with a sister not a brother."
"I don't want to take the chance momma. I see all the trouble that Kaylee's brother gives her. I don't want any part of that."
"Okay, Nae. Dad and I will make sure to keep that in mind."
"Mom?, Is my toast ready yet??"
And just like that she was done talking about a sibling. I've played back the scene in my head twice now. Texted my hubby about it. There is so much humor and honesty in this situation. Hubby and I had decided a while ago that we were good with just it being the three of us. I have told just about everyone that Nae is going to be an Only as she is called.
The response is mixed. Some are good with it. Others believe that we are doing our daughter a huge injustice by not giving her a sibling. Some tell us she will grow spoiled and others tell us that its a good choice. No matter really about what anyone thinks. Anyone but Hubby and Nae really. I knew already where Hubby stood. We had just never heard Nae say anything either way.
There are really, really good valid reasons we stopped with just Nae. If you really want to know, I'm sure you can find at least two blogs on this site that will tell you. If anyone who is reading this can't find them, leave me a comment and I'll pull them for you.
This was the most serious I have ever seen Nae. Then, just like that she was back to her playful, always hungry self.
SO, here is the Magical in the Mundane, in this situation. There has always been something in me that even though I had pretty much made up my mind, I was really waiting to see what she had to say. Now, I have an answer. It came out of nowhere, but none the less, she has chimed in. I'm sure it will always be a topic that we will discuss as she gets older, I'm just glad that she feels like she has a say and that she went ahead and let us know what she was thinking.
I remember having a similar conversation with Elly but on the flip side cried that she was the only one in her class that was a only child and blah blah blah. =) She wanted a sister so badly. I do remember around 5 years old telling her that it may just be her and she seemed to be okay with that. Now that her baby sister will be her in 20ish days I can't keep the smile off her face.
ReplyDeleteI don't think there is 1% chance that Nae will be spoiled, well loved maybe, but not spoiled. I hate that word and people tell me that about Elly all the time. She is the most loving child ever and I just know Nae is too.
Love you Norms.
Thanks Kaci. This means alot. Nae and Elly are the same that way, very loving, caring girls. We try to surround Nae with kids and people in all variety and groups. I do believe that Nae will be just fine.
DeleteI think that Elly will be a superb big sister. So excited to watch them grow together.