As she grows.

So this post comes on the tail of Memorial Day.  I was in the dumps a lot of my tween and teen years about my relationship with my dad.  He was gone a lot. In the military things are unpredictable, then when he retired from that, he took on a job that required LONG stretches of time away from home.  Mom, raised us by herself for the most part.  My relationship with my dad has grown in the years since I married my Hubby.  My dad did something on my wedding day that I never saw coming.  When he stood to try and say a few words, because Hubby's poor dad just couldn't get any out either.  He gave all the credit to my Mom.  I wiped the slate clean that day for my dad and I.  Its been rough to open up to someone who I thought has never really been there.
He calls me at least once a week to check in. He's still working a job away from home, and now that his girls a a bit more spread out, he tries to talk to each of us once a week.  I never know what he will say or how the conversation will go.  The last six times he has called, he has asked about the Nae, checking to make sure all is going well with her.  I'll fill him in and then out of nowhere, he'll tell me that I was just like that as a kid or tell me what him and mom used to do when they handled it with my sisters and I.  He will say things and it will trigger a memory I never thought I had.  It will just come flooding back as clear as day.  I spent so much time being mad at him.  It took all the wonderful things he was there for and repressed them.
I'm so grateful now to have the time to talk with him, gain his insight...and let's be honest, get my good memories and Daddy back.
I tell you this because he asked about Nae a few times ago and I told him that she was sleep a lot.  He said something to me that I had already resolved to but what he said just backed Hubby and I's decision.  I have been slowing down Nae's at home learning.  Giving her more free time for unstructured play and exploration.  The biggest thing I do, that most will tell you is a HUGE  "no, no".  Is I let her sleep until she wakes on her own.  Yesterday, she didn't wake until 11am, this being said the kid went to bed at 9:30.  Most will say that I'm not giving her structure for her future, I worried about that.  Until I talked to my dad.
"Let her sleep Norma.  It will be soon enough that she will have a schedule that she will have to adhere to.  Let her just be a four year old kid."  Again, Hubby and I had resolved to this way before Dad had said this, but it was good to hear him say it.
I realized six months back that the one thing I always wished for when I was in school, was to sleep in and to be with my mom, safe at home.  Every single day of school I wished this, all the way up to my senior year.  I got to thinking that there are so many things that Hubby and I can give our daughter, the list is limitless.  BUT, there are only so many things I can NEVER give her back.  One of them is her youth.  I can't give back time before the real world desends on her all sorts of hoops to jump through, lines to follow, time schedules to adhere to.
When she turns five and goes to Kindergarten, it will be so different than preshcool and there will be no turning back. So, Hubby and I are letting her have these years before school.  Sleep when and as long as she needs, eat and grow as she needs.  Love and hug as much as possible.
Before I know it, she'll be ready for the SAT's and eyeliner.