Rita Arca Cabal

Rita Arca Cabal crossed to the Summerlands on Friday January 18th 2013.  This February would've marked twenty-one years since the last time I wrapped my arms around her, and felt her in an embrace.  Yet, I never ever thought I was without my Grandmother.  Ever.  

She was the kind of soul that transcended distance.  I just always knew she was with me, encouraging me, standing with me, loving me.  That hasn't changed, even if she no longer walks this side.

Yet, my heart still aches at the loss of her physical form gone from here.  Its a bit confusing to me and my heart.  Why now?  With so much time gone between us? Wasn't that pretty much the same?

I can hear her whisper, "No, its not. Go easy on yourself, dear Heart."  She's right, I need to go easy.  I may not have seen her in twenty-one years, but that doesn't mean she was anything less to me.  Still my blood, still a woman of inspiration, still my Grandmother.

"When they throw rocks Norma, you throw Bread." If they speak in hate, you speak in Love.  So many lessons, just by her example, this one the most prominent.

I will go hours thinking I'm okay, then the grief hits like a tidal wave.  That's just it, how it works, the Grief. 

I can only imagine how my Mother feels then.  Being thousands of miles away.  

Today, through my sadness at being left behind, I will dig deep into my bag of Gratitude.  I will think of all of the things to be Grateful for through this.

I know she rejoices at the Feasting Tables with those who arrived before her.  That her heart is not heavy or sad.  That she is at Peace.  That her aches pains are no more.

I'll go easy on myself and let Gratitude and Time heal me. I will cry tears to cleanse the hurt.

One day, when its my turn to cross to the rolling fields of green, I know she will be there with the others.  Standing just on the other side, waiting to greet me.

I Love You Papo. Until that time, always know, I love you.