With all the commotion in the past month with my baby sis's wedding, the prep, and the execution of said wedding. Its taken me about two weeks to come back to a balance in Life. Its every bit as peaceful here in KS as I need it to be. But, where my outside is peaceful, there is an unjust of the peaceful with in.
Its not anything that is disturbing the most part of my Life, but I know from past experience that if I don't let this thing go, it will festering into a negative part of my life.
I witnessed one of the people I admire the most become upheavals at the most petty things during this last month. I wish it stopped there, they let this upset them so much, they forgot where they were and started ranting and raving in front of all the attendants in the wedding. I would love to say that it was nothing, but it was something.
They saw me standing there and just went off. Stomping, yelling, huffing. So beside themselves that they yelled at one of the sweetest people we both know in the process. Really, did you just huff off and slam a door too??
So beside myself, I was in shock for a bit. Until I realized that they just embarrassed themselves in front of all the people that the Bride and Groom asked to stand witness with them. Then, as emotions go, I got angry.
As a child I can see a reaction like this, but not from an adult. One that I admire at that. On a day so important on top of that. Mad at all the people but the ones they were upset with in the first place.
I still haven't had the heart to tell the Bride. We were all with out so much sleep, nervous that all would go right. I could've acted the cranky ass sister bitch, but I didn't.
Shaking from fury, I stepped away from it. Only now to have it still bother me so.
I have to let it go, it was not mine to harbor in the first place. Not mine to live with for the rest of my life. I can't say I'm not disappointed, I thought for sure that if there was anyone who would've handle that situation with dignity it would be them.
I guess not.
I guess part of it festering too is that I have not been honest enough with myself as far as letting it go. They are only human, so am I. Mistakes happen, bad judgement happens. I have to understand this as well.
Maybe its just as hard for me to let it go because I'm just as angry about it happening as they were at the time of the blow out.
I get it now, lesson learned.
Funny how it starts to lay flat and you can see it clearer when you write it down.
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Hi, be nice. I would if I commented on your blog!! KTHANKSBYE. :)