Abuse, watching from a sideline.

I have never really been around much of it.  I have seen it go on from a distance, never really stepping in, just watching as it unfolds. 
That change a few days ago, when I saw it happen to one of the single most important people in my life.  It wasn't physical abuse, it was verbal.  For the purpose of this blog, we'll call the abuser Ping and the one being picked on Osha.   Ping is like all other abusers, sad, unhappy, filled with hate.  So much hate that they can't remember what it was that made them hate in the first place.  When they enter the room, a roiling black, pustules follows them.  Ping is so bad that they set foot in the room and they change the vibration in the room.  Its not just the sensitive that feel it everyone feels it with these people.  You just know they don't have anything positive to offer.
Osha is new to Ping's world.  Osha is from a world where, if there is conflict they sit and resolve the matter.  Then move on in Love and Respect.  Ping wants Osha to understand that their world is not like that.  In Ping's world, there is only one opinion that goes.  Ping's.
Ping has worked on getting Osha into her world, feeding Osha with subtle loving and endearing remarks here and there to lure Osha in.
At a time when it should have been Osha moment in the Sun, Ping decided to step in and take the spot light away.  With hurtful words.  Ones that Osha, and Osha's friends and family don't really stand for.
So, Osha stood up.  Told Ping to apologize.  To Osha's astonishment, Ping refused.  Called Osha ridiculous. 
Osha was heartbroken.  All Osha wanted was an apology for hurt feelings.  Ping was enraged that Osha would challenge what they said.  That anyone would go against them.
You see, for years, Ping was hurting the people around them.  Saying hurtful things to everyone around them.  No one thought they could be mighty enough to disagree with Ping, until Osha.
In the last week, I have watched Osha stand up to Ping on more than one occasion.  Osha fights alone, everyone else in Ping's world it too broken to help.  Osha refuses to become one of the abused by Ping.
Osha has been battered by Ping.  Osha knows that she is standing up for not only herself, but the few others that Ping has beaten down.  It is painful, but Osha knows what the fight is really about. 
Osha refuses to let Ping have her way, to beat her down.
There is really no way to make Ping see what they do.  Osha has said her peace,  the fact remains that because Ping is so enraged she will keep trying to break down Osha.  With abusive, under minded, hurtful things spoken.
The path is clearing for Osha, they will not let those that have been damaged by Ping go unloved.  They will stand and fight for themselves and for those few so badly broken.  Osha will return to the path of Love.  Hopefully with those Ping has so badly broken.
I have hope for Osha and those she has come to love and help.  They are amazing people, whom I will go on to love as much as Osha loves. 
Like Osha, I hope that Ping sees the damage they have caused.  It will be a long miserable life for Ping otherwise.

15 years, 8 of that married....I love him as though it was just yesterday.

On the day I married my hubby eight years ago, we had been living together/dating for exactly seven years. On the day that I married him, I never thought I could love him any more than I did that day. Then, four years ago, I saw him add a facet on to himself, not only was he a wonderful husband, he was now the single most amazing father I had ever encountered. That was the day he held our little girl for the first time. Once again, I felt an even deeper love for him
.Driving in a car full of our belongings, two dogs, and our daughter across country to a new state to start a new chapter in our lives, I found myself loving him even more than I did the night before. That he would pick it all up and move it, to make things better gave me an even deeper respect for the man I married.
With the new opportunity comes new experiences, both pleasant and unpleasant. We’re willing to face the storm together to give our daughter a better of life. Hell, it’s a better quality of life for the both of us too!!
I guess, what I’m trying to say is, that love grows if you foster it. Even through the years. As the years go by, the love doesn’t grow from the years accumulated, but the miles stones you experience together.
I’m positive that I will fall again when I watch him, “Proud Daddy” at our daughter’s graduations, when he walks her down the isle at her wedding, when he becomes a grandpa.He never understands how pleased I am to grow old with him. Maybe if I explain it this way, he will.

Our Wedding Day

Seven years to the day we started dating

Fifteen years together