Knowing your worth...

Well, it happened.  I fell.  Not a trip and I caught myself kind of fall.  It was an all out slip- and- hit- every- stair- and- bump- and- find -myself- confused- at- the -bottom- of-- the stairs, kind of fall.  It happened yesterday morning.  I immediately stood up, shaking from the Fight or Flight response my body was in and took a deep breath, wiped my face with my hands, closed my eyes and tried with all my might to feel anything broken.  I took a few hesitant steps, shifting my weight, assessing my body. Once a therapist, always a therapist.  I have in the past gone straight into that mode when Nae gets hurt or Hubby even. So, talking to myself in my head, 'Nothing is broke, thank Goddess.' I kept myself moving, knowing that if I didn't there was no way I was going to get done what needed to be done that day. I think I was in denial, as I went on about my morning getting ready for my day at the shop and taking Nae with me. I guess I ran on adrenaline most of yesterday until about mid afternoon.  Then, the soreness was awful.  I listened to my friends and family and took something for the swelling, which I hate taking OTC junk.  But, this was just a situation where I had to listen. As the night went on, the soreness just increased.  I tried to allocate the spots that were the worst, but in all honesty, it was from head to toe.  I thought a good night's sleep would probably help.
This morning has been interesting.  As was pointed out to me by Hayley when I she called to check on me, I have a very high pain tolerance.  I am not in pain, I am sore.  Seriously, its truth.  But man, am I sore.  It sparked a memory of my time in the hospital just after Nae was born.  The nurses were doing morning rounds and came in to see about my pain level. You know, the 1-10 scale, the Happy and Sad faces on the chart.  They had to ask me twice when I told them I wasn't in pain just sore.  That I didn't need the ibuprofen, that I just wanted my stool softener (Mommies will know how much more important that little magic pill is.) They shook their heads but complied.
I had 3 hours of massage scheduled for today.  Last night my husband put a stop to the notion that I was going to jump out of bed and go do those massages.  I was more ridden with guilt for my clients and I was really trying to look past how sore I was.  Well, he was right.  If I wanted to last through all of the festivities planned for our Holiday, I had to take it easy today.  Regrettably, I text my clients and let them know that I had to take a rain check today.
I can hear my Gran in my head when I think to myself, "I am no spring chicken anymore."  I think this lesson has come along at a very perfect time.  All my life I have prided myself in working hard, very hard.  Physical, back-breaking work.  Throwing freight with six-foot men, loading six to eight 100 lbs loads of muffin mix into a hopper and hucking heavy duty muffin trays all night, standing all day, jumping off and on a fork light all day, (yeah, yeah, I couldn't see most of the forks on the lift I was always too short.)
All that hard work for most of my adult life has taken its toll on my body.  My massage therapist instructors would poke fun at me being the kid with all the overuse syndromes we were learning to help combat.  Most times, I was the body they used to show how hard physical work can damage a body, especially one so small.  They were so good to me, not only using me as an example, but always working to show and fix techniques so they would work with my body, not against it.  Sometimes I would stump them on how they would go about altering a technique, but the next class time, they would have a perfect fix for me. I will be forever Grateful for their attention, all four of them.
That is what this whole entire fall has me on...Gratitude.  That fall could've been oh so much worse!!  If I had not worked so damn hard in all those stubborn young years, I would not have had the tough muscles to protect the bones that are by all acts of nature, growing older by the year.  I could've broken so many things.  It would've stopped me in my tracks.  Not just personally, but professionally.  Its another lesson in know just how much I am worth.  That I have to take healing just as serious as I tell my clients to.  My body is my means of making a living.  I have to keep it healthy, and in working order.  I guess you just don't know how important that is until it's about to be taken away from you.  Or could possibly be taken.
Sitting here writing, I feel twinges of nerves healing, aching in the muscles that just had a traumatic once over, and I know the healing that is going on.   I think about how well my clients took the news this morning, the concern in their words.  It means more than they will ever know that I was received with compassion and understanding.  And makes me want to heal, rest and be that much better of a therapist and person.
I won't let this fall upset my holiday, I am in a place in my Life where I can be positive through the soreness.  That the Joy of the Season isn't darkened at all.  That the Love I feel for my Family helps me heal.  That I am Living a Life steeped in Gratitude, so much so that even in down times my mind goes to that directly.  I'm getting the hang of this, I hope I never ever forget it.
Happy Holidays to you and yours.  Sending you Love and Bright Blessings,
Norms

A little more about why I'm so crazy...

So, I have no idea what I'm doing.   This is new to me, as I'm sure it was new to most of you who now have your own Blogs. I wanted a place,  for those who were so inclined, to be able to check on us and see how we are adjusting to our new chapter in the book and adventure we all call life.....the new chapter will have to wait.

I'm sure alittle background would be nice.  I'm the oldest daughter of a Career Man Sailor, layman's terms, a Navy brat.  Dad knew his way around an engine and he made a living working on Helicopters and Jet engines in the Navy.  Sometimes that meant being away for nine months at a time.  It wasn't the best plan, but it was a plan to keep a wife and three daughters clothed and fed.  For the first eight years of my life, I saw my daddy three months out of every year.  My mom had had enough and pleaded with him to stay close to us, so shore duty it was for the man.  Which meant uprooting your family every three years, moving from naval base to naval base.  Did I mention that my dad ran with the WESPAC branch of the Navy??  Yeah, so picking  up and moving every three years meant MAJOR moves...to Japan, to the Philippine Islands, then after nearly eight years in Asia Pacific back to Washington State.     Then the last doozy of a move from Washington state to California, his home town specifically.

Yup, it was pretty crazy.  Mom,the sisters and I could unpack the whole house in a day....sad really.  No, really it sucked.  By the time I was a junior in high school, I had been to twelve different schools.  Thankfully for Mrs. Lucci and Mr. Perkins, helping me out that last semester senior year with all the extra hours after school, I scraped by with just enough credits to graduate.

I'm vowed to never move my kids around like that....ever.  Well, I had to go back on that vow.  Hubby got an offer for a job that we couldn't resist....in Kansas.  Yup, Kansas.  So, we went to visit.  We fell in love.  We had always teased about moving to a place where life seemed to pass just a bit slower, where the pressures of everyday life were simpler than what a growing population in Cali had in store for an individual.

Our girl, she's three and a half.  We decided to make the move before she started school, to give her chance to acclimate to the other kids. 

We have the most amazing friend and his family helping us with the move.  He was a former manager of the hubby's and mine at the last place he worked.  I think he knew we were done with California.  We had taken blows left and right since the baby was born, we were getting tired of just getting by.  In this day and age, who isn't?? He offered to help Hubby get on with the company he worked for, it just meant we had to up and move to Kansas...that's all.

I'm dreading the move( gee, I wonder why), but I'm so excited about starting a new chapter in the book!!  My whole family is in California. My sisters(I love them so much!!) are both to be married next year, we don't see them or my parents as much as we used to.  Hubby's family is spread out through Utah and Colorado. Its time for this three man show to move along.

Please understand that there will be ranting, and raving.  Happy spots and sad spots.  I have never spent an entire winter in the snow, so this should be hilarious to the reader!! 

Will you stay tuned??