October...its right around the corner.

It will be 3 months since I last had a chance to write here.  Again, it is not without notice that I write on a Thursday...Thankful Thursday.  Even if I haven't been writing it here, the Gratitude is still always given.  I still take the time during the week, even if its not on a Thursday, to be in awe of what Gratitude can do.
Today was a mile stone for us as a family.  I won't share the actual milestone, its personal enough to garner respect of privacy.  However, it has indeed made me come, full circle in my Gratitude.
When Hubby and I decided to have a baby, we kind of knew how we wanted to live our Lives.  When Baby was born, we knew that the choices we made were the direction we needed to go.  We just had to figure out how to get there.
Never, ever did we think we would have to go so far to gain so much more than we ever dreamed possible.  And that is the moral of today's lesson.  It has got not a damn thing to do with money or what you own. 
Nothing.
Are you Happy?  If your answer to this is yes.... Good. For. You!!  Keep on doing it, whatever it is that is keeping you there.
If your answer to this is no....change it.  Fix it.  Shake it.  Stand on your head.....whatever it takes to get you to happy..... Do it.
We are not defined by what we own now, what we can show as worth to others. That stuff stays here when we move on.
Do what makes this Life worth Living.....what makes you lay your head down at night with a sigh of content.  That you were the best possible version of you today.
I'm beyond Blessed.  Hubby is happy.  That Milestone,  what was said to him, that matters way more than the pennies. 
Happy Thankful Thursday!!!
Bright Blessings,
Norma

Four months...

Its been four months.  So much has happened.  I have learned so much, met amazing people, and have Lived in Gratitude.  It has been amazing.  Way too much to bore you with all the details, but maybe you would be patient enough to read about some highlights.

I became an Aunt.  Auntie/Tia NomNom.  That is me.  Her name is Caroline Darling.  She is perfect.  I am Thankful.  Her Mommy (my Charlie) and hers had some tough stuff to get through, but they did it together.  And I am busting at the seams proud.

My daughter became a Rider.  Not just because she showed in Horse Shows.  But because someone very special saw the gift I had no idea she had.  And that amazing person has helped her hone that gift into something that is awe-inspiring to watch.

My little massage business is standing on its own!!! Like, for real.  That is where I have been most nights and some parts of the days.  Building my little business.  And she is growing!!  And I love her even more now then I did a year ago when I thought that this would just be a hobby.

My Hayley is stronger.  So much Stronger.  In so many ways.  I'm so proud of her.  I love her so much.

Shayla grows a little one as we speak.  She is in the hospital, trying with all her might to stay on this side of sanity.  She will do it too.  I have faith in her.  Through all the heartache and frustration, she is rising above and keeping her and the baby in good spirits.

My husband remains the pillar that I have been able to lean on at any and all times.  Its his birthday tomorrow.  Its so true what they say about Marriage being and empty box, that its up to the two of you to fill it with Love, Respect, Understanding and in our case, Laughter.  A LOT of Laughter.  I love my guy.  So, so much.  I spend moments dreaming about hitting the Lotto and sweeping him off his feet.  I know, but we all have to have dreams.

My family, all of them, are Happy Healthy and Strong.  My family grows, learns, and Loves.  They constantly show me the meaning of unconditional Love.  They try understanding, which is so much more than many others ever get.

I'm Grateful for it.  All of it.  I try to open my heart as wide as I can and let out how Grateful I am.  So that the Universe knows I'm taking nothing for granted.

No longer do I ask "Why me?' when I get a bump in the road.  Its more like a "Okay, I have no idea, let's just follow it and see where we come out at" attitude.  Life's biggest heartbreaks seem to come with less of a blow when looking at them this way.  That doesn't mean I don't get hurled back, it just means I find my footing quicker when I get back up.

Failing and making mistakes is so much more of a learning tool now.  No more beating myself up for not being on spot perfect.  Failure and mistakes help me grow into a better me.  I hope I never stop growing into a better me.

Thank you.  I know there are not many of you who take the time to read it.  But,  my little blog and I thank you for the time you spend here.  It means more than  you know. <3

She is 6...how can that be?

Happy 6th Birthday Naenah Delane!!!

She turns six today.  How can that be?  It was only yesterday that we were in the hospital eagerly awaiting her arrival.  Twenty-seven hours of labor, she fought so hard to be with us.  That first forty-five seconds are still played in slow motion in my mind.  No heartbeat, no breathing.  Non-responsive.  I can hear clear as day the Peds Doctor walking through all the steps to revitalize Naenah on the other side of the curtain in our birthing room.  One short little zap to her heart and the greatest sound I have ever heard rang through the room.  Her cry.

Travis and I are forever changed by that cry.  The fact that she chose Life, and us.  How can that not leave me dumb-founded every year on her birthday.  She is the single-most real tether to what really counts in our Lives.We try to do our very best to never forget that.  

She is persistent, head-strong(thank the Goddess), curious, and kind.  Wise beyond the years she has walked this plane of existence.  She is full of Love and never shies at telling you just how much she loves you or giving the hugs to prove it.

She is our Blessings.

I pray and reflect all too often that I will do her justice.  Be what she needs.  Or, at the very least Die trying.

Ships of gold, caverns of diamonds. Those things are nothing to the richness I feel at having a chance to be Naenah's mommie.

I never thought I wanted or needed anyone to love me so unconditionally as Travis has.  So patient and persistent with his love for me.  Its made me grow into who I am.

Then, Naenah happened.

You may not believe me, that I don't know what it is to be without material things, that I don't know what I'm talking about.  Trust me, I've been there.  With nothing material-wise.  Even then I was richer than most.  Why?  Because Travis and Naenah love me.  That simple, that true.  

I'm full with Gratitude that I get to witness and participate in her growth and enrichment.  Thankful that she has a forgiving heart, just like her Daddy.  That I can make mistakes and she loves me through them.

Six years.  Wow.

I love you Naenah Delane.

Happy Valentine's Day!! Happy Thankful Thursday!

Wow,  lots of Haters out there for this day!! Understandable.  But what do romantics with kids do on Valentine's Day?  Some take the evening to steel away to dinner just as a couple, or lunch for that matter.  Some plan whole weekend get-aways just for two.
Kelly Ripa and her husband take their kids out to a nice dinner.  I loved that idea.  And although Ms Ripa hit a chord with me with her Pit Bull bashing she did on her show, I still admire that her and husband make Valentine's Day special for the whole family.
That is what Nae and I do.  We make dinner for Daddy.

 Dinner Table all set for tonight's Family Valentine's Day Dinner

 Decor all over

 Naenah is showered with gifts this month of February.  Family sends from miles away.  Lucky Kid

Even the windows get love on Valentine's Day

So, it's not just a day for couples.  At least not in our home.  Like most things in our home, we include our daughter.  Another day to show each other just how much we care about each other.  There is bound to be a ton of giggling and squealing with music in the background.  Cheers!!  Happy Thankful Thursday.

Thankful Thursday....

I'm beside myself at the moment.  Its only 7am in California, the appointment isn't until 8:30 their time.  Today, just a few days before my 37th birthday, my sister and BroLaw find out if Baby is a Boy or a Girl!!!
I have been told to hold off of any purchases until we knew the sex of the baby.  Today, IT. IS. ON!!!  LOL  I have plans man....Big Plans.  This is my first time at being an Auntie.  I'm Auntie NomNom, by the way.  I'm so freaking excited!!!!
And beyond the moon Grateful.
This Thankful Thursday is SO steeped in Gratitude.  For Friends who handle opinions with such amazing Class.  For Family who call to check in, in times of saddness and heartbreak.  For people who give of themselves to enrich others Lives.
I needed to hear those voices on Skype and the phone this week.  To see the "Likes" on FB on my updates.  It all made a difference this week. 

Judgement its ugly and I really don't like it

I had to do a horrible thing yesterday.  I had to take a stand for myself.  How is that horrible you ask?  It meant I had to tell someone I love that they weren't treating me fairly.  Still how is that horrible you ask?  Its taken me a whole day to figure out why I was so upset over doing.  And of course, as usual, I see it when I'm enjoying Life's simple pleasures.  It came to me while I watched my daughter skip off to the playground this morning.
You see, to me, if I have to do that.  It means I have to pass judgement.  I hate passing judgement on others.  I have been victim to unfair judgement all my Life. I was a mess yesterday.  I just had to confront my dear sweet friend.  There was so much to be Joyful for these next few days, I couldn't go into them with a heavy heart. 
So, I did.  And I felt worse than I did harboring the unfair feelings.  I cried half the day.  My poor sister called to console me.  "You stood up for yourself, good for you.  You are always so hard on yourself  Norma." She cooed in my ear.
I loath people telling me how to live my Life, we are all such different spirits, it should be up to the individual.  What others see as horrible Life mistakes, I see as lessons to learn, to grow, to make a better path, to give choice.
I feel like I pass judgement when I stick up for myself.  That's it.  I know its mine to fix, after all I'm just as human.  I know its my hangup. Its still makes me feel crumby.
I'm not perfect, I don't expect others to be.  EVER.  That's just an exhausting thought.  There lied my moral dilemma.  Was it that I was passing judgement or that I was just asking to be treated fair?  My head knew it was a simple request to just be asked to be treated fair.  My heart felt it was a betrayal of my dear friends wonderful heart.
She is a wonderful person, and even though I was blubbering mess, she handled the situation with Style and Grace.  In her truly Awesome and Classy form.  I love her so much. 
Here's to the futuree and hopefully a friendship strengthened by both our efforts.

I have to say it, to get if off my chest.

How can it that be, that I can stand up for myself.  Yet, when I'm deserving of something I work so hard to trade, I feel awful about having to justify my need for the other to hold up their end of the bargain?  Is it me?  Is it the person on the other end?  This is a horribly powerless feeling.  Its not hate or negativity I feel.  However, the guilt I feel with having to lay out all the things I've done to be justified, that gets me.  I shouldn't feel guilty!  I shouldn't have to ask!  You should know, that you need to hold up your end.  I probably sound like a kid, its not fair.  But as an adult, you should know that you should be fair to those you associate with?  Take, take, take.  Its not polite.  Don't you know that burning bridges with those that truly help you is not healthy for you?

It honestly makes me sad.  I get disappointed.  It shows me that I don't mean very much to you, but you mean the world to me.  Then, that is where I get mad.  Because, there may be a lot of things that I don't know yet living on this Earth.  But what I do know is, I'm deserving.

Maybe its just time that we cut the ties and see how long you last with out my help?  See, that is where they have me.  Because I will never be that person.  The one who won't help you out.

So, I just go back to being heartbroken.

Goddess, Light this Path for me.  Show me that being the extraordinary person that I am is not being exploited.  Show me that the misdoing is not mine, or rather, that the misdoing is that I care too much.

Blessed Be